Change happens around us every day. We all go through life changes puberty, marriage, old age. In natural world the process of the seasons transitioning is much quicker than the natural changes is in our lives. Conscious change(when we know it is happening), can be one of the scariest processes of all. Conscious change can often be unexpected and a sharp jolt in the journey in our lives such as a death, a relationship breakup or even losing our jobs. Or it can be planned a wedding, a pregnancy or moving home. No matter how conscious change comes whether seen as positive or negative, our natural reaction comes with fear and anxiety and often stress.
In 6 days I am making one of the biggest changes in my life. I am moving away for the life I have created for myself over six years in Copenhagen and moving to Jutland to begin living with my boyfriend of two years, the wonderful Mr T. Now although this is a happy moment in my life and one I have dreamed of for, well two years; I am shocked at the amount of fear and anxiety I am feeling. As always I want to understand and work with these feelings to grow from them. So over to my favorite resource google and in my research I have found it is actually a perfectly normal reaction to life changes, no matter how pleasant they may be. (Yey! I am normal not an emotional overreacting wreck losing sight of perspective and sanity!)
Biologically when we face change our bodies get into fight or flight mode. Chemicals and hormones and adrenaline start to race around the body and we stand in the middle like a rabbit in the headlights. The body can’t actually differentiate between physical threat and the stress of change. Great, and I thought I was just concerned about being packed on time and having enough space on the trailer.
Fortunately there are ways of coping with change in a positive way. Here are …….tips I have found to help me and you cope with changes in ours lives.
Acceptance
It’s ok to feel afraid, anxious or stressed don’t beat yourself up about it. Remind yourself this is a natural reaction to the change in your life.
Identify your fears and feelings
Write a list of your fears and feelings. When you identify what your challenges are you will be able to see where you can resolve some of these things and where you have to accept them. I have used part of the serenity prayer to help me with this process.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Find the opportunities to grow
Every change creates new opportunity to grow. Sometimes it is hard to see but the loss of a family member can bring a family closer, the loss of a job the oppertunity to find something better for you. Think back over the major changes in your life. How did these changes give you opportunity to do something positive in your life? Again make a list of all the opportunities this change will create for you. Remember this big change is just a phase of transition and you will find a rhythm in your life again.
Make a plan
Of course this is not always applicable . If it is applicable make a plan of how you will respond to this change. For me I found this list was actually much bigger than I expected and really helped me feel positive about the coming change.
Use your support network
It is ok to ask for help, to talk through your fears with your family and friends or even if you feel comfortable within a help forum. If you are moving there are so many ways to keep contact with loved ones email, phone, Facebook or even the old fashioned letter. If you need help it is a good idea to try and identify how you need help. For example I have asked Mr T to be especially romantic and loving this week to remind me how lovely it will be together forever.
Do what makes you feel happy
If exercise is your thing then do that, drawing do that. It’s good to relax although when fears are getting the better of us it’s good to relax in a busy way. Don’t forget to watch your favorite films and at this time yes it’s its ok to eat some of your favorite comfort foods too!
Reaffirm to you that this is a positive experience
Affirmations are a fantastic way of tricking the brain into a new thinking pattern Every time your brain tries to go into your fears tell it NO. Then fill your brain with a positive affirmation. You can use the following or create your own, and keep it simple
“I can do this”
“Everything will be alright”
“All is well in my life”
“I am willing to change and grow”
If you find it challenging to say an affirmation I find it helps to pick my favorite to print out and put up at home or use it as a screensaver.
Remember that the nervousness won’t go completely away, however I found that by using these steps it does help the nauseous feeling in your stomach turn into butterflies and now I am feeling excited about the coming change in my life . After all change is just another word for adventure…….
