When you start out on a new personal development regime everything goes buzzing along in a cloud of motivation and positivity, that is until you fall off the horse. Motivation levels go down and it often seems easier to give up and fall back into the old familiar habits we know and feel comfortable in. The irony is that when we are at this point it is one of the most important stages of our personal development journey. If of course we can just keep a view on the bigger picture, block out our negative inner dialogue and keep going the breakthrough comes and it’s worth it. Hurrah!
I know. It’s not that easy right.
In fact not easy at all. And I know this all too well. This week in particular for me has been a tough one. After a short pear shaped period in my life I have been attempting to get back into my personal development routines again and pick up the good habits I had before. Should have been straightforward. I did it before I can do it again! Right ? Well yes and then no.
The challenge has been it’s just not that easy to get the same focus and drive I had before.
Those of you that also follow the path of development know this too well. Falling off the personal development horse happens to us all. Getting on the horse again is not easy and staying on it after a fall can at first seem impossible. Added to which if you have an internal dialogue like mine (who loves to put me down) it can be fodder to add to your I can’t stick at anything, I am useless, worms, worms, worms personal narrative.
It’s a vicious cycle and can if allowed hold you down forever, if you want it too. I don’t want it too. So I turned to my second favourite library of reference, me (the first is always a combination of Google and Mr T); and sifted through my files of life experience to figure out how to boost my motivation and let me get to the place of my next break through.
Guess what I found?? It is so much easier than I thought to get back on the personal development horse and ride into the future without superhuman strength. It was just a question of changing my mental approach to the process and applying these for A star guidelines.
The 4 A star guidelines to getting back on the personal development horse:
Acceptance:
Sounds like a cliche right? However it’s not. If you don’t accept things as they are you cannot move forward because you are coming from a place of untruth. In accepting you also forgive.
You have to accept three things:
1: You fell off the horse (probably for a good reason if you analyse it and look for the teachings) people do. But you are not going to be able to move forward if you don’t forgive yourself for that.
2: You are not unflawed. Every human is a perfect imperfection including you. If you look at two of my personal heros personal development heros Lousie Hay and Hal Elrod both of their stories tell very honestly about a human experience of growth. Both of them are perfect imperfections who are constantly working on improving their imperfections in the best way they can. None of us can do any more than our best. Have a look at your heros and role models I bet you will see that they too are just as frail and as human as you. If personal development gurus can be flawed so can you so stop beating yourself up for it.
3: It is gonna be tougher second time round because you will unconsciously compare your results to the first time you tried a routine change. This comparison is just your minds way of fighting the changes you are trying to make because it likes to be in its comfort zone, it’s probably why you fell off in the first place.
Attention:
“Constant vigilance!” as Professor Moody used to say (from HArry Potter. Yes I am a potter fan and a personal development junkie!). What do I mean by that. I mean pay attention to what is going on with you. If you get excuses popping up then notice them and try and work out why your mind is fighting against you. For example if you keep pushing your affirmation ritual away because you are too tired or too busy, or hit the snooze button instead of jumping out of bed to do you Miracle Morning routine then sit down with pen and paper to ask yourself why? Why aren’t you doing it? Then find a way to work through your block instead of succumbing to it. Google is a wonderful tool here, ask and you will find inspiration if you can’t figure out how to work with your block alone. (99% of the time it is as said above your internal unconscious self rebelling because you are outside its comfort zone. In time you will feel better with the changes, you just need to keep going until your new habits become comfortable.)
Acknowledgement:
As I always say one of the most important things you can do to motivate yourself is to acknowledge your achievements. I cannot stress how important this is. We often when ‘working’ with ourselves forget to notice and be proud of our progress and efforts. Of course the reward of personal development are the bonuses of our positive personal growth. But if you don’t take the time out to notice and acknowledge the journey you are taking and your accomplishments, then you can get demotivated again. Make an achievement list where you list what you proud of yourself for having achieved once a week. Or if you prefer a gratitude list that focuses on gratitude to yourself for what you have been doing to make life better for you.
Allies:
Allies is just another word for friends or people, or even strangers in the form of authors or online communities, who you can call on for help in your commitment to getting back on the personal development horse. It can be hard as hell to make life changes alone so call in your team. Right now I am finding myself surrounded by people who like to make excuses for themselves rather than take responsibility (unfortunately moving into a completely new area can have this effect). At first I found this draining and allowed it to affect me but once I realized it I have now started to call into my life people who also are dedicated to growing positively in both my friendship circle and through reading and watching personal development videos that inspire me. It helps me keep focused and reminds me I am not alone. Writing this blog and having you guys read it helps amazingly too because when you read and like my articles I know that we are all out there working on ourselves to become better people in our way and that is immensely inspiring. For which I am truly grateful to you all lovely readers. So reach out to the universe and create the allies you need to keep you on that horse and keep going. We can achieve far more together than we ever can alone.
Remember wherever you are in your personal development process that the times that seem the hardest are always before the enlightening positive breakthroughs. So keep on going. So what if you fell off the horse, you got back on it and you are moving forward. And by accepting that, paying attention to yourself, acknowledging your progress and calling in your allies you will keep on riding that horse on wards growing more and more grounded, beautiful, abundant and successful every single day.
I believe in you!
From my heart to yours
Happy Weekend
<3 Emma-Jane
You know, this is just what I needed right now! I really want to work on my personal development but struggling to stay on the horse (it’s a wild and unruly one, it seems). I think the second point is really key for me here!