You know life sometimes just seems to be filled with annoying people. Everywhere you go you meet someone who is irritating or unnecessarily stupid or even worse you meet someone and it is hate at first sight. Meeting annoying people or even someone who you instantly dislike is unfortunately something we have all experienced. (If you haven’t I commend you fine person please write in the comments how you do it because we mere mortals will be happy to learn your secrets.) It’s like that person in someway shape or form manages to get under your skin, irritate every possible nerve, conscious and unconscious thought. And why? Why do we have times where we meet people like this? Well it would be very easy to say the world is full of idiots and that’s that. However we all know deep down inside that’s just not true.
Whenever we feel a strong emotion (especially when it comes right out of the blue) it is the universe jumping up and down with a message for us. (Note to self: it must be friday because in my mind there is now a picture of the universe jumping up and down wearing heavy wooden clogs and screaming “Notice me!”. Next note to self: you are rambling. My apologies.) So what is the message that the universe sending you when you seem to be surrounded by halfwits and people that get under your skin?
This week the universe has been sending me irritating people and annoying situations by proxy. I have spent most of the week observing other people’s interactions going horribly wrong so much so that I was becoming totally overloaded and also starting to be drawn into the drama. Until yesterday someone had a conflict and in helping them I reminded myself of three life pearls of wisdom regarding why other people can annoy us so much. In remembering these pearls I was able to step back from the drama around me and use this universal message to learn more about myself, grow a little and enrich my life’s journey. Now who would have thought that from being surrounded by idiots eh!?
So here are three easy things to remember that will help you in any situation, with any annoying person. The trick is remembering them and applying them.
They remind you of you
Whaaaaaaat ! ( I can hear you from here). Yes it’s true. Whether its the annoyingly slow person serving at the counter or that person you absolutely hate, the reason they annoy yo is because they remind you of you. But not the good part of you. They remind you of a bit of you that you don’t like. Especially with hate at first sight.
Have a look at the person you dislike or are most annoyed by and mentally describe that person and compare them to you. For example the bossy domineering, controlling person in your workplace is actually you when you are stressed and trying desperately to hold things together by bossing other people about.
This exercise is not easy but it is INCREDIBLY enlightening. It can identify hidden fears, negative self narratives or unresolved issues and by uncovering these unciousous things we become soo powerful.
It’s their stuff
Let’s face it one of the most irritating thing another person can do is react negatively towards you. A tone of voice or a facial expression can be the catalyst for a personal feud lasting generations or (on a slightly more realistic level) a sense of irritation and frustration that follows you round annoying you for the rest of the day. Now wouldn’t it be great to be able to let go of that. You can. Basically you have to realise that it’s the other person’s stuff. Whatever the reason they reacted it is based on something in them, their personal world. It’s not your stuff it’s theirs. So let it go. We have enough of our own emotional baggage to deal with without carrying someone else’s.
Remembering that it’s not your stuff not only releases you from your personal dramas it also has the added bonus of freeing you up to handle the other person differently which will make whatever the situation is better.
You can only work on yourself
The two realisations above can lead you to some very important personal reflection and growth. It is important to realise when it comes to other people you are not in control. You cannot help them to have the above realizations and respond to you and themselves in an emotionally intelligent way, that’s up to them. (Well you can ofc share my articles with them! However they might not have the same impact on someone else as they do with you).
What you do have control over is you. You can control how you respond to a situation. You have a choice. And it’s your choices that make that interaction with another person positive or negative. Now I hated the person who first told me this (for about 3 mins). However it’s a fact. We have the power in us to react or respond. To live in a world of instincts or to take control and look deeper within to understand and grow.
When you use these thought processes in practice it frees you up to a whole new world of interactions with other people as well as a new level of self awareness and emotional intelligence. Try them out this weekend and make a mental note of how much happier you are to be around people that would normally drive you crazy, The world is only full of idiots when you’re stupid enough to allow it to be! It’s your life, your choice, so make the best choices for you <3