This year I made the decision to change my relationship with money. In fact in March I wrote a life lesson 101 on how to invite financial abundance into your house and home in the spirit of this new relationship. A for a while this new relationship functioned beautifully. I fell in love with money as physical representation of abundance. I did my daily abundance practise. I created my abundance altar. And thanks to Lynne Twists wonderful book The Soul of Money I really got to grips with understanding scarcity and abundance mindsets. For a while there it was amazing and it seemed as though I had hit the utopic state of health, wealth and happiness.
Then as happens in every new relationship the honeymoon period was over. And eventually, as was potentially predictable; I fell into old habits. I allowed dramas to rule and without noticing it I had slipped back into the very habits that led me to wanting to change my habits and relationship with money in the first place. Ugh. Am I right back to square one? No, not really. I now have more of a flow with my money. I now understand money as an energy to be transferred and exchanged instead of my mortal enemy (as I had previously felt it was). However recently my spending habits have been running away with me and I now have a massive £500 debt I have no idea how to resolve. I can feel the edges of old fears and dramas about money trying to creep back into my mind. Luckily due to my resolution of creating a new relationship with money I am more conscious than ever before of this process and now it is time for me to reassess my relationship with money both energetically and practically.
So having identifying these current issues I am having with money I turned once again to my mentor for advice and he really came through (as he always does). He simply explained that as within in any new relationship when the honeymoon phase is over you have to work out the new ground rules. It made so much sense. The guilt I had felt at “failing” by returning to my old habits and dramas just lifted from my shoulders. This is natural and normal and is not essentially anything to do with me messing up. Phew! He also reminded me that in every failure is a teaching so look for the teaching.
This conversation was so powerful it has lead me to once again re look at my relationship with money and now I can see how to move forward and strengthen Thise relationship by setting some new ground rules. Just as we do in any relationship. If you are here where I am now then here are 3 things I have come to realise about how to strengthen my relationship with money both energetically and practically.
Understand the drama
What is the drama that is being provoked right now? Within in every relationship when we have a fight we act unconsciously out of a pre learned pattern of behaviour or drama which we need to resolve, understand and accommodate.
I realised for example that right now I am acting out of my drama that says “Emma you are no good with numbers”, simultaneously it provoked my “ I don’t like to have my behaviour and desires limited” dramas. Once recognised I could see that this subsequently led me to work out of my fears. The one where I hate to do budgets because I “can’t make them work” and the fear of limiting my freedom that I unconsciously feel a budget and savings plan creates. Therefore I was operating on hand to mouth living again because I had got back into my scarcity mindset – WOW!
When you look at the dramas you are working from you get that realisation moment. The WOW that makes your behaviour suddenly understandable and which makes it a heck of alot easier to do something about (and this of course applies not only to finances but to everything in life.)
Look for the teaching
In learning to form a new habit, a new way of doing something the straying from the initial path and failing is actually a huge gift of learning. It says ‘hey I need to do something differently in order to have a harmonious relationship’. So look for the teaching of the situation and your dramas. What is it that you need to learn from this?
My teaching was simply that I need to get over my fear of numbers to be conscious of my abundance by keeping track of my finances. And I needed to understand that freedom is actually created financially by being conscious around my money as that would give me the freedom to make sensible abundance spending.
Apply the practical solution
Now understanding the energetical flow and the psychological impact of your relationship with money is seriously important however it is not the only root you need to strengthen this relationship. Practical action is essential in having an abundant relationship with money. So what actions can you take to stay on top, preempt negative patterns of behavior and create healthy conscious habits which serve you and your relationship with money.
I found three definite actions I could take to create healthy habits:
- I realised that I need a person to help me create a realistic budget, someone with objectivity.
- I also realised that I found it challenging to keep track of my spending during a month and so I have downloaded an app to help me keep track and I am implementing a new habit of checking in with my finances once a week (both business and personal). These are going on different days of the week so I don’t feel overwhelmed by the numbers.
- I need to forgive myself for failing instead of judging myself for it and believe that abundance is possible and that I can be abundant. (Which means returning to my abundance practise and mindset).
What pratical actions can you take to strengthen your relationship with money?
As I said in March this journey my new relationship with money is not going to happen overnight or in two articles. However each step on the road is an enriching experience. When tackling a failure, as I have now, and learning from it failuer also reminds us not only how abundant we am but also how many resources we have in our lives.
I have a feeling that installing my new healthy habits will take longer than my initial honeymoon phase with money. However I feel confident that I have taken the steps to create a stronger foundation in this relationship which in time I will see blossom and amplify my beautiful abundant life.
I hope the teachings that have given me this confidence will also empower you…..
Happy weekend <3