#lifelessons101 : Sometimes surrendering the fight is the way to win the fight

As some of you may have noticed, over the last month or so things have not been hunky dory in our world. In fact far from it. Since September I have been fighting for a project to work out that really meant the make or break of my career goals that I have been working on for 4 years. On top of which we have a family member who is dying and my beloved Mr T is going through something which has raised his anxiety levels to an all time high. Life has become a constant pressure pot where someone has been raising the heat just a little every day.

In short, it’s been hard…… Damn hard.

And for me the breaking of my career dreams has the point where everything simply boiled over and the walls came tumbling down.

After many tears and raging at the universe, Mr T and anyone else that has been willing to listen for the last 6 months. I have reached the enough is enough point. And today I have surrendered.

Even though many people believe what has been happening to me is unfair and wrong. I am actually giving up. I have fought long and hard, but nothing is budging. So I surrendered the fight.

And it feels great!

The funny thing is when we hear the phrase “give up” or surrender we often tend to think of it as a negative thing. “You can do it”,  “Just keep believing in yourself”, “If you want it fight for it” is often the response to such a statement. And I would agree. At the beginning. But after 6 months of banging my head against the brick wall of bureaucracy.  It is time for me to read the room differently. And when I took that perspective I could suddenly see that this blooming, frustrating brick wall of BS is actually a message from the universe that this thing you are fighting for is not actually right for me.

This stepping back perspective. This surrendering in the fight. Actually gave me complete clarity to realign with my original dreams. It has got me back on my path. And it reminded me that truly the only thing that really matters to me is enjoying my journey and loving my life.

Surrendering has actually given me the freedom to enjoy my life!


Now it has taken a huge leap of faith to do this. Faith that by stepping back the universe will provide. It basically means I have to trust that being put back onto financial survival mode is going to be a positive thing in my life. And that is not easy when my survival instincts are in panic mode.

However, if I am going to get any kind of win from this fight. That’s what I have to do. I have to put my faith in the universe first. Then find a logical way to deal with the mundane of less income. And take the opportunity it provides of more time.

Surrendering to accepting what I can’t change,

Stepping back and looking for the opportunity,

Rerooting in myself and my true path in life,

Has given me not only the best night’s sleep in months,

But also the drive and motivation to follow my dreams in a different way!

Wow!

Now I am not saying you should not fight for you dreams. You damn well should. But if you find the universe keeps blocking you. That things are not working out to plan. Or you are ending up in the same old destructive cycle. This is the point where taking a step back. Letting go of the frustration. Trusting the universe. Re-assessing what it is you truly need and want and then looking for the opportunity to follow your dream differently, is the way forward.

You have to choose your battles carefully. And every good general knows that sometimes retreating, regrouping and reorganising is the way to win.

What is not working if you life right now? What it the universe trying to tell you? And how can you find the opportunity in this situation to find a new way of doing something ? What is going to give you the freedom to enjoy your life?

Let me know in the comments below

Have a great weekend <3

How I organise my life – Time management that works

For years my personal time management sucked.  I couldn’t remember appointments, struggled with daily tasks and felt overwhelmed. I procrastinated, I just accepted the negative consequences and lived in a constant state of feeling guilty.  Then I became self employed first time round and there was no-one else to pick up the pieces. I had to do everything. My work day suddenly started at 9:00 and finished at 00:00. I was constantly stresses, everything felt like work and I was even more overwhelmed than before. After five years and one too many head injuries (I get clumsy when I am exhausted) I finally had a breakdown. The business had to close and I needed to take a step back.

Today I am considered a time management expert, I still find that strange. However a huge part of my job is guiding people in how to get the most out of their 24 hours in a way that means they get stuff done and have a balanced, fun life. Learning from my mistakes I have created a simple system of time management that works for me and my clients. It is simple it is fast and it feels good.

So this is how I turned one of the most disorganised stressed out people I knew, myself, into a person who has got their stuff together, gets the most out of their day and even though busy always has time to do what they want to do. This is how I organise my life.

Step 1: Yearly Goal setting

Knowing what I want in life and how I want to grow makes life so much easier. I set goals at the beginning of each year. 8 personal and work goals. I keep it at 8 so that it is manageable and achievable. Now I do this in January for business and in February for personal goals but you can start right now. Once I have made my goals SMART I create action steps, baby progress steps,  for each of the goals I want to achieve. So a goal of I want to take care of my physical health becomes – I want to do 10 mins yoga everyday, I want to eat 50% less Junk food by Christmas etc.

I highly recommend investing some alone time into this process, with a glas or a cup of something you like and good music on in the background this can be an inspiring process.

Step 2: Monthly Goals

I group the important areas of my life into 4 sections. Work, Me, Life, Social. Basically work is obviously for work related tasks, Me is for my own personal development, dreams, or fun stuff I want to do. Life is the other stuff. Doctors appointments, organising holidays, important things that I need to do at the house or in the garden. Social is the social appointments I have that month. Then I fill out the monthly spread below in a notebook that I can close and it sits on my desk.

Some of the monthly goals are set by the calendar, Dad’s birthday, group meetings etc some of the monthly goals come from the yearly goals action steps I have created.

Step 3: Monthly overview

One of the issues I had with time management was my unrealistic expectations of how much time I really had. This monthly overview system works wonders for me. And has the added bonus of me remembering to take self care breaks.

In the form below you simply fill out first the fixed activites you have such as work, training, food shopping. Then fill in the monthly appointments, social events, such as dentist visit or girls night. After that block out a break of at least one evening after tiring social activities or weeks with a lot in them. Lastly put in stuff that you want to get done. Scrapbooking or weeding the garden. Don’t put more that one task into the 2 boxes. The top box is for activities before 17:00 the bottom on is for activities after 17:00. This helps keep the overview and reminds me what is the main focus area for each day.

Step 4: Weekly plan

Instead of creating a weekly todo list I use my monthly goals and monthly overview to plot out my activities for the week. I know exactly when I am writing an article or putting the washing away. It is scheduled not by time but by areas of the day, morning, afternoon and evening. One of the things I am really strict about is making a cut off point of my day. Basically the time where I am not willing to work over AND the time where I am not willing to grown up (ie washing, cleaning, cooking, paying bills, etc). After my break down I insist on at least a full 1 down time. In Fact these days work stops at 17:00, grown upping at 18:30 -19:00, after dinner is down time.

Step 5: Daily plan

Some people love to time block their to do list, personally I love to use the  Todoist app. Basically once I have made a week plan I plot the activities into my app and prioritise them. If you don’t time block I highly recommend prioritising your daily to do list. It helps you be realistic about what you can do in 24 hours and to plan after how much energy you have.


The biggest thing this system has taught me is to accept. Accept what I can do and what I can’t do. IT makes my planning realistic, my stress less and I am a lot happier in my life. Now as you read this you might be thinking doesn’t this take a long time. Honestly I probably use 1 hour per month on this process and considering that the average month has 730,001 hours I think it is time well spent as I not only achieve what needs doing and I  have at least 50 hours a week to invest in myself doing what I want to do. Now who wouldn’t like that?

If you would like more time management tips and hacks check out my time management tips article here!

What time management systems work for you?

Let me know in the comments below

Have a great week <3