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RE:ROOT

#lifelessons101- How to keep on going when you hit a bump in the road and it feels like you are getting nowhere

Dreams beget reality is something I have always believed. But sometimes the road to our dreams becoming a reality is a long and hard one. Especially when you hit a bump in the road. Energetically it can feel like  you are never going to get to where you want to be. 

So how do you get up and keep on going despite it all? 

This has been my quest over the last week. This year one of my biggest goals has been to realise a life dream and get my book published. Not an easy task. But I took on the challenge and have put all my energy into making it happen.  It was a challenge to start and then I got an amazing break and a publishing house I respect became interested. I had some intense months working on the manuscript, following their advice and it looked as though this dream was going to come true. And although challenged, I felt like the mountain was halfway conquered. Then the bump came. They decided not to go ahead…. Writer or not if you have been there you know how this feels. It’s like being mentally winded, everything seems to slow down as you sit watching the finishing post disappear into the foreground while you stumble back towards the starting block. The disappointment can feel overwhelming. 

But this dream of being published is a life goal I have had for as long as I can remember. So of course I shouldn’t want to give up. As many people have supportively told me many, many successful writers got rejected, many times along the road to success. But at 6pm on Monday evening even that thought didn’t help me feel energised to continue at all, in fact I felt ready to give up.

24 hours later it might surprise you to hear that I was back on my feet and forging ahead once more to making my dream a reality. I still feel a little bruised and battered, I am back on the horse working towards making my dream a reality. To be honest this time I have surprised myself with the turn around. And although I haven’t cracked the code to getting published (yet!) I do feel like I have figured out how to keep on going when you hit a bump and feel like you are getting nowhere. And funnily enough it’s a lesson I learnt at 5 years old. 

First cry. Pick yourself up. Dust yourself off. And try and try again.

This is what my Mum and Dad told me when I was trying to learn to ride a bike. It was not easy. And I got a lot of bumps and bruises. But I kept on and today I still have a bike. And I can ride it. The funny thing is that the adult process of keeping on going is really not very different. With a few tweaks it got me out of despondency and on the way towards the finish line once more. Yes limping a little. But I am there and I will get to the finish line eventually.

And this is how I did it

First Cry

You are frustrated, disappointed so allow yourself to feel it. Many dreamers and go getters have challenges with this one. Seeing crying as a negative behaviour. However some scientists see emotional crying as a necessary biological function -asserting that chemicals build up in the body during times of elevated stress and that emotional crying is the body’s way of ridding itself of toxins and waste products. 

A good cry can be cathartic and you do feel better afterwards. 

Mope but only for 24 hours

When it is a long held dream we have been fighting for falls flat. One good cry is not going to fix it. I think a little bit of moping goes a long way to helping you feel better. That said too much makes it hard to get back up and keep on going. Give yourself permission to mope for 24 hours. If you need to drink champagne, play SIMS and watch Star Trek then that’s what you do. (Obviously not speaking from personal experience there!) Do what you need to do for 24 hours. And that’s enough. Giving yourself a time limit to fufill of feeling down is actually hard to do. I managed 5 hours and by then I was done. I went to bed and woke up feeling better.

Reach out

A bump on the road to manifesting dreams is hard to bear alone. If you don’t have a friend or a family member to help then honestly there will be a facebook group out there with people that can give you the encouragement you need to keep moving forward. I belong to a writers group on Facebook. I shared my story and so many people came forward with encouragement, questions and ideas. It made me feel so much better and not alone. And that is gold. 

Pick yourself up again

24 hours have passed it’s time to pick yourself up. Ask yourself do I want this dream to be a reality? Don’t let the negative thoughts in. You know the situation. You: I really want to do this Negative thought: Yeah but looked at what just happened. If I try that’s going to happen again. Tell it to go away. The answer is simple. Do I want it? Yes or No. And if the answer is yes. Then you have to keep going. 

Dust yourself off

You want to move forward then you are going to have to get rid of holding you back. Find a new approach. Shake it up, down and sideways. Halfway through my 24 hour turn around I had a list of other publishers to try. Had done more research into submissions. And somehow had come up with an idea for a second book built around what the publisher was looking for and re submitted the idea!  To keep moving forwards you sometimes have to go back to the drawing board and try a different angle. Make a new plan.

And try and try again

If you don’t keep trying you are never going to get there. If you don’t go after what you want you are not going to get it.  Put one foot in front of the other and follow the new plan. A journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step. And then the next one. And the next. 

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Am I 100% over my bump in the road? Of course not. But I am back on the road and travelling once more. And the only way I am ever going to get to the finish post is by taking the journey and that includes getting over the bumps along the way. 

What dream are you working on manifesting today? 

Happy Weekend 

Love Emma-Jane <3

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