#Life lesson 101 – Want not need

 

Mr T is brilliant. No seriously he is. Two nights ago over dinner I was complaining that I was running out of inspiration on what to write on my blog and he came up with this brilliant suggestion. “Why not write about the life lessons you get as you have them”.  Perfect. I had been getting into a frenzy of how can I give advice and what to write about and I forgot the most important rule of writing – write about what you know.

Well as it tends to the universe responded to my renewed desire to learn and the very next day sent me a life lesson 101. It was so refreshing and energising that I felt inspired to share it straight away.

Think about what you want and not what you need.

Let me put this into context for you. I have been stressed out because I want to run 3 workshop programs this year and so far no-one has joined up (well not for the paying places, the free places are completely booked). I had been coming from a place of need. I need these customers to make this work financially, I need to make x amount to make this financially viable. So in need of inspiration I turned to the internet for advice and low and behold it presented me with a three part workshop about Using the law of Attraction to attract your ideal clients by the lovely Debbie Talbert. It was brilliant. Debbie’s words inspired me to  remember that need comes from a place of desperation. The universe gives what it hears and desperation is not a vibration you want to carry around with you (trust me on that one).

Whilst completing the webinar workshops I refocused my attention to attracting the kind of clients I want to work with, the working life I want to create. I was reminded of how when we get clear about what we want it gives the universe a clear message of what to give us. And when we allow it to give, it does. It also reminded me that two thoughts could not occupy the same space at the same time. So I need to convert my script to the positive in order to attract the positive, to focus on abundance and not lack.

The whole experience just reminded me of how powerful the universe and conscious living  is.  If you have been in a similar situation of desperation try this simple exercise to turn your thoughts to want not need and feel the energetic shift as you immediately identify what it is you want and the clarity that arrives on how to get there. Basically it’s a thought shifting process turning the negative into the positive, what you don’t want to what you do want.

Divide a piece of paper into two columns. One is “What I don’t like” the other is “What I do like”. Think about the situation or challenge you need to resolve. e.g I wanted to attract the ideal customer so I had to define who that is.

Now write a list of at least 10 things starting with the sentence “I don’t like”.

e.g I wrote I don’t like time wasters, I don’t like people who disrespect me by wanting my services for free.

Once completed turn each statement into a positive starting with the phrase “I do like”and physically cross out the negative statement.

I converted my sentences too: I like motivated focused people. I like people who respect me and want to pay for my services.

Now the important part. Read your positive list allowed. It is amazing how positive it can make you feel when you have turned these negative thoughts around to positive thoughts. Remind yourself that you are in the process of attracting all you do, know or have to manifest what you want in your life and that the universe is unfolding in a way to create this for you.

Now trust and do something else! Seriously take your mind off it and do something else. You should feel lighter, happier and a step closer to your goal or solving your challenge.

Now watch the universe unfold and provide you with what you wanted and be grateful. Remember when we give gratitude the universe just keeps providing us things to be grateful for.
Have a wonderful day 🙂

 

sometimes you need to look fro a different perspective

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Change is just another word for adventure

changes gives you the oppertunity to grow

Change happens around us every day. We all go through life changes puberty, marriage, old age. In natural world the process of the seasons transitioning is much quicker than the natural changes is in our lives. Conscious change(when we know it is happening), can be one of the scariest processes of all. Conscious change can often be unexpected and a sharp jolt in the journey in our lives such as a death, a relationship breakup or even losing our jobs. Or it can be planned a wedding, a pregnancy or moving home. No matter how conscious change comes whether seen as positive or negative, our natural reaction comes with fear and anxiety and often stress.

In 6 days I am making one of the biggest changes in my life. I am moving away for the life I have created for myself over six years in Copenhagen and moving to Jutland to begin living with my boyfriend of two years, the wonderful Mr T. Now although this is a happy moment in my life and one I have dreamed of for, well two years; I am shocked at the amount of fear and anxiety I am feeling. As always I want to understand and work with these feelings to grow from them. So over to my favorite resource google and in my research I have found it is actually a perfectly normal reaction to life changes, no matter how pleasant they may be. (Yey! I am normal not an emotional overreacting wreck losing sight of perspective and sanity!)

Biologically when we face change our bodies get into fight or flight mode. Chemicals and hormones and adrenaline start to race around the body and we stand in the middle like a rabbit in the headlights. The body can’t actually differentiate between physical threat and the stress of change. Great, and I thought I was just concerned about being packed on time and having enough space on the trailer.

Fortunately there are ways of coping with change in a positive way. Here are …….tips I have found to help me and you cope with changes in ours lives.

Acceptance

It’s ok to feel afraid, anxious or stressed don’t beat yourself up about it. Remind yourself this is a natural reaction to the change in your life.

Identify your fears and feelings

Write a list of your fears and feelings. When you identify what your challenges are you will be able to see where you can resolve some of these things and where you have to accept them. I have used part of the serenity prayer to help me with this process.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

Courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Find the opportunities to grow

Every change creates new opportunity to grow. Sometimes it is hard to see but the loss of a family member can bring a family closer, the loss of a job the oppertunity to find something better for you. Think back over the major changes in your life. How did these changes give you opportunity to do something positive in your life? Again make a list of all the opportunities this change will create for you. Remember this big change is just a phase of transition and you will find a rhythm in your life again.

Make a plan

Of course this is not always applicable . If it is applicable make a plan of how you will respond to this change. For me I found this list was actually much bigger than I expected and really helped me feel positive about the coming change.

Use your support network

It is ok to ask for help, to talk through your fears with your family and friends or even if you feel comfortable within a help forum. If you are moving there are so many ways to keep contact with loved ones email, phone, Facebook or even the old fashioned letter. If you need help it is a good idea to try and identify how you need help. For example I have asked Mr T to be especially romantic and loving this week to remind me how lovely it will be together forever.

Do what makes you feel happy

If exercise is your thing then do that, drawing do that. It’s good to relax although when fears are getting the better of us it’s good to relax in a busy way. Don’t forget to watch your favorite films and at this time yes it’s its ok to eat some of your favorite comfort foods too!

Reaffirm to you that this is a positive experience

Affirmations are a fantastic way of tricking the brain into a new thinking pattern Every time your brain tries to go into your fears tell it NO. Then fill your brain with a positive affirmation. You can use the following or create your own, and keep it simple

“I can do this”

“Everything will be alright”

“All is well in my life”  

“I am willing to change and grow”

If you find it challenging to say an affirmation I find it helps to pick my favorite to print out and put up at home or use it as a screensaver.

Remember that the nervousness won’t go completely away, however I found that by using these steps it does help the nauseous feeling in your stomach turn into butterflies and now I am feeling excited about the coming change in my life . After all change is just another word for adventure…….