Month: January 2017

Making New Year’s resolutions that are easy to keep! – Time to get started! (2 min read)

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This is the last part of a series of guides to help you make New Year’s resolutions that you can keep throughout the whole year. Don’t worry if you haven’t been following up until now. New Year’s resolutions can be made throughout the new year. Personally I prefer to do it as the land turns from Winter to Spring so that my journey follows nature’s cycle around me. However if you want to follow this guide you need to go and have a look at the part one (identifying your goals), part two (setting your goals) and part three (Making your plan) of this system otherwise it simply won’t make sense.

If you have been following the system you should by now have got your vision clear and made a plan for each goal. After all this fantastic work you are now absolutely clear on what you are going to do and how you are going to do it. So what’s left? Actually not much. However there is one last thing that is vitally important. Preparation. Any good plan is carried out best when you prepare.

Don’t worry you don’t have to prepare for every goal at once. It would be too unrealistic and set you up for a fail. Take a look at your plans. One of these goals is going to be something that you really need to do right away. It might be the one you are really inspired to do. Choose that. Look over your plan and decide how to prepare.

One of my goals is to improve my lifestyle and focus on my holistic health. In a nutshell I want to do more yoga and eat healthy. And as we all know this is not as simple as it sounds- So I have been making preparations. This weekend I researched some yummy looking healthy snacks (snacking is my thing ever since I quit smoking) and I’ve been finding out how much time I have to exercise. So slowly I am starting to make preparations.

The important thing here is to go slowly and remember baby steps. This week I am going to start exercising 5 mins a day and have salad every day., oh and this weekend I have eaten all the junk food in the house . Maybe counterproductive but it means temptation is gone.  It may seem strange to start with such a little commitment in the beginning however with doing 5 mins a day it gets me into a habit that will grow each week until I have reached my daily exercising to my goal target. Little by little my life is going to improve and change.

This last month the thought processes you have been through have laid the foundations , the roots of a path of growth you start this year towards your dreams your life changes. Because of this groundwork you and your life will continue to evolve into the life you have imagined for yourself.

So identify the preparations you need to make and get going!

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#Lifelessons101 – I do everything in our house – but do you really?

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After talking to a Mr  the other day about our role in our homes and in our families. It became very obvious that we both were having the same feeling and frustration about our lives. We both felt that we de 90% of everything at home. We both felt that every day we had to tidy up after the other. It’s especially ironic as when we moved together we dealt our roles up in the home so we both had different jobs. A perfect idea but not realistic.

However it was great to get it out in the open. It somehow brought closer. Later in the same week I spoke with a friend and she also told me that she felt the same in her house. It infact is a common problem between people living together whether as friends, strangers on partners. We all feel that we do the most and that it is unfair.

Often when we feel like this we allow the feeling to sit inside of us. It builds up pressure and eventually explodes. The worst thing we can do is repress our feelings. Physically it can’t do harm to your body. Repression builds up stress. Stress turns our body into continuous stress mode. This in turn tightens up places in our body where eventually toxins gather. (If you would like to read more http://fitlife.tv/this-is-what-happens-to-your-body-when-you-suppress-your-emotions-original/)

In short this problem is common. However this very common problem can actually be solved, with patience, compromise  and a little bravery. Mr T and I talked it through. By talking it through honestly and without taking offence, we learned about the things we did that annoyed the other. It gave us the opportunity to assess our actions in certain situations. As well  we got a clear idea of what the other one did in the home.

There are many different small problems like this when people live together. On a base level it is part of our animal makeup. We all vie for a strong position in the pack we all have an unconscious opinion about what is right for our pack and how we should survive or live. Luckily our species has evolved to a point where we can step out of our animal state and stretch our comfort zone by talking about these issues.

Here are a few guidelines to use when discussing these sort of problems.

  • Choose a time and space where you won’t be interrupted
  • Explain to the other person that this is not a personal attack but a chance to talk out an issue and find some solutions.
  • Talk about your issues and give space for them to tell about theirs.
  • Respond not react. Remember the other person is not attacking  you but is explaining something that makes their own lives unhappy or frustrating.
  • Be patient with each other and take breaks rather than arguing.
  • Make one agreement where both of you have to try something to improve the situation. (Not more it’s hard to remember more).
  • Make sure that the dialogue is not closed- that you can discuss this again in the future)
  • Do something fun together afterwards.

Remember this kind of talk has one very important goal it is to bring you closer to the other person/people by understanding each other. As I said before it takes a bit of bravery to step out of our comfort zone however when we do it brings a release and sense of freedom. 56d4f13dee2bdd494f3b2a5150d9b67d

Have a wonderful weekend 🙂

Making New Year’s resolutions that are easy to keep! – Making your plan (4 min read)

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This is the third part of a series of guides to help you make New Year’s resolutions that you can keep throughout the whole year. Don’t worry if you haven’t been following up until now. New Year’s resolutions can be made throughout the new year. Personally I prefer to do it as the land turns from Winter to Spring so that my journey follows nature’s cycle around me. However if you want to follow this guide you need to go and have a look at the part one (Get inspired) and part two (Creating the vision) of this series, otherwise what you are about to read simply won’t make sense.

To those of you who have been following the steps you are hopefully raring to start working on your dreams and goals for this year and after this last week you will have a crystal clear vision of the changes you wish to make.

Holding the vision is important and will make your dreams easier to manifest. However a vision is not enough. If you don’t know what you need to work on and how to do that then you vision remains a dream, a nice picture in your mind and an unfulfilled goal.  So what next? How can you make your vision become a reality. The answer is really, really simple. Make a plan.

You may have heard the 5 P’s Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance. Now I do in part agree with this, on the other hand I find it a stressful and demanding. In my book proper planning gets stuff done.

But what do I mean by planning? There are many ways to do this. The simplest I have found is to take each goal and define the steps you have to take to create this. This week you have two steps to follow.  Give yourself good time to think this through and record your ideas. This is the foundation, the roots of the work you will be fullfill this year. Make strong roots adn you will have a strong plant. If you make a strong plan you will have better results.

Make a plan

Now say for example your goal this year is to travel a country for three months. In this case you have some very clear decisions to make and steps to follow.

Choose which country you want to go to

  1. Research the ways you wish to travel, hotels, youth hostels, work away and what you want to see.
  2. Research the cost of your trip.
  3. Save money.
  4. Book time off work.
  5. Book your holiday
  6. Go.

In this case it’s very simple. You can even set target dates on each of the steps. But what if your goal is not a clear to create for example to improve your self confidence.  In this case you need to do a lot of background thinking to achieve this goal. Also you have to be realistic. Can you do this in one year? Or will you have to spread this over a few years? In which case what do you want to achieve in this year? With goals such as this you can still make a plan in the same way as for travel. You just need to think it through more. One of my life coaching clients made this plan for improving one part of her self confidence over one year, by focusing on self love.

  1. Identify what it is I don’t like about myself.
  2. Talk about this with my life coach.
  3. Find a strategy for each issue with my life coach.
  4. Begin one strategy each month.
  5. Write a gratitude list every morning or evening.
  6. Use a self love affirmation every morning in the mirror while I brush my hair.

One year one my client is more confident and happier within herself. Together we have identified and implemented 3 strategies in her life to improve her relationship with herself. Her self confidence isn’t completely in place, however it is beginning to be less of a hinderance in her daily life and her life quality is improving.

The steps to take are easy when making your plan.

  • Choose one goal.
  • Clearly define it.
  • Write a list of the steps you need to take in order to achieve your goal.
  • Set a start date.
  • Set a completion date
  • Do the same with all of your goals.

Evaluate and adapt your goals:

Making a plan is also a great way to evaluate your goals and dreams for this year. Are they realistic. When you break it down into bite size chunks and there are too many steps or impossible tasks then you need to redefine your goals.

 

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Enjoy this process. Make it simple. Make your plans realistic. And remember to make it fun. The whole point for me in life is about enjoying the journey. Life does not have to always be hard work. Keep this in focus as you are planning. After all the resolutions you make and want to keep should be improving your own life quality other wise there is not much point in making them!
Have a fantastic and motivating week. Next week is the last part of this series so tune in again on monday to begin making the changes you dream of in your life and to begin living the life you have dreamt of.

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Making New Year’s resolutions that are easy to keep! – creating the vision (3 min read)

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I hope you had a wonderful and inspiring week. If you have been following the guide from last week’s article  Making New Year’s resolutions that are easy to keep! -get inspired, then you should now be really clear about where you are in your life and where you want to be.

Creating the vision is one of my favourite parts. It’s about finding and setting your goals. One of the best bits of advice I can give here is BE REALISTIC and make your goals manageable. Don’t set yourself up for a fail. For example don’t set one of your goals as to be a millionaire by Christmas this year if you are currently in a low paid part time job. Your goal to be a millionaire can be realised in say 5 years, but right now you need to set a goal of improving your financial situation and beginning to lay the groundwork which will bring you closer to your millionaire goal.

So how to set realistic manageable goals? actually it’s quite an easy process. If you follow the simple guidelines below then you will by the end of this week have a crystal clear vision for your new year’s goals.

Identify your goals

From your findings last week pick out 4- 6 things that you need to change to improve your current life quality. And remember folks this process is all about improving your life quality. You can have goals for your family but those goals need to be centralised around your life changes. You only have the power to change your own life. So identify the most immediate changes you need to make.

Completion date.

Set an completion date for the goals. I always set mine for October. A completion date makes your goals focused and accountable. Simply you know when I have to be done by. This does not always mean a goal or dream is completely finished. It may be that you have an end goal to buy your own house but it will take two years to save up the deposit. So tis years goal becomes save one half of the deposit by October. It is still working towards your main goal, just in a realistic and achievable way.

Evaluation date

Choose a half way point in your year as an evaluation date. Personally I always start my evaluation at August  when the harvest is being brought in.The evaluation is important. It is an evaluation of progress so far and lets you identify the work left to be done. How to evaluate comes next week. For now just set the date in your calender.

Forming your vision

Now this part is fun, especially if you are a creative person. It’s time to make your vision more concrete. It’s time to create a vision board. Collect pictures and phrases  this week that represent your goals for this year. Also find a picture of yourself where you are truely happy. Now take a piece of cardboard ( I use 2 A3 pieces stuck together) and glue the happy you in the center. Divide your board into 4 to 6 sections and group the pictures and images that correlate to each other in a section. I love this part. Make time over the weekend to create your vision board. I like to make this a celebratory event and when complete I toast my vision with a glass of wine. Set time aside this weekend to create your vision board and when you have done hang it somewhere where you will see it every day. If you cannot think of somewhere I suggest putting it across from your toilet, after all you are in there every day!

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So that’s part two of creating new year’s resolutions that will last. By spending time on this process of creating your vision you will make your journey this year so much clearer. Think of it like a recipie book. You start with a picture of the finished product, just as you are doing with your vision board. Then there is a set of instructions on how to make the recipie. And next week we will be looking at how to make the recipie for your goals and dreams to be met this year.

For now enjoy creating your vision and giving yourself clarity to your dreams. Don’t forget to take sometime to thank yourself for dedicating yourself to improving your life. (I plan to take this week very slowly and make time to give myself a daily pampering 🙂

 

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#Lifelessons101 – What to do after a storm hits your life (2 min read)

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Storms come quickly, bringing chaos. Life is swimming along at a normal and even comfortable tempo then suddenly from nowhere BAM! Something happens that in a minor or major way uproots your life. And the weatherman didn’t even tell you it was coming.

Yesterday we had a storm hit us. Our landlord dropped by to tell us there would be a  4000kr increase in our rent starting in February. My reaction process started with f……………….k!!!

Amazingly I then went through a series of reactions that by the end of the day I was feeling happy about this challenge and determined to overcome it.

First reaction : survival mode. I looked at the budget, can we pay?(We could but only just from now on until we generate more income we are living the way I hate counting every kroner and have no opportunity to save).

Second reaction: shock. I cried. A lot. I talked my frustration out (in a snotty and garbled way). Mr T was wonderful and comforting he tried to get me to say it would be ok. But right at that moment  I couldn’t. I was overwhelmed so I cried until I could cry no more. It was cathartic and released me from the drama of my fears.

Third reaction: Success experience. I knew I couldn’t do anything more about the problem right then and there. What I needed was a success experience. So I did the washing. Something small but easy to do (well it would have been if the cat hadn’t removed the waterpipe and therefore also flooded the bathroom! However I cleaned it all up and solved that problem so ha ha success!) For the rest of the day I gave myself small manageable tasks that made me feel successful.

Fourth reaction: Finding the positive. As I spent the day making small achievements, I realised that this financial pressure was actually a blessing in disguise. Life has been very comfortable of late, too comfortable. Not that I am saying being comfortable is wrong. My experience has simply been that comfortable without a little challenge makes boredom.As soon as this was realised my energy shifted. Now I could see we have been given an opportunity.

Fifth reaction: Energised and determined. Having proved to myself I can succeed all day, and after brainstorming, I could now see that the things I had been thinking of doing to increase our income and not yet done I now have an immediate motivation for. A kick up the butt to get my plans and dreams realised. Suddenly I am raring to go!

So who knew that a rent increase would actually be an inspiration and motivational factor!

Of course it might not have been. If I had chosen to sit down and stay at reaction number one, then this storm could have been crippling both mentally and financially.  Storms are crap. We all know that. We have all been there. But the important thing about the storms that hit us is not how we are hit, but how we survive afterwards. Storms bring change and peace after them if we choose to respond in a healthy way. Next time a storm  hits, slowly and in your own time try these five steps and you will turn your problems into opportunities.

Survival mode: Batten down the hatches and do the minimal things you need to do to survive.

Shock: Allow your emotions to come out. Do Not repress them. Allow yourself to get to the emotional state where you feel like a wrung out dishcloth. It empties the sadness, frustration and anger out of you.

Success experiences: Do some very simple things that you can succeed at. Wash the dishes. Do the washing. Feed the dog. Nothing you have to think about, just something you can do. MAke yourself do this. It’s actually the most important step as it transitions you to a positive space.

Find the positive: How? Look for it. There is always a positive side. A lover leaving does allow you to do things you didn’t do because of the relationship. A broken washing machine brings with it the opportunity to really deep clean the bathroom which you have been putting off for months. What opportunity did this storm bring?

Energised and determined. Find ways to overcome the challenge life has thrown at you. You don’t have to start then and there (unless you want to). Look at the opportunity this challenge has brought you and work towards to achieving whatever it is that opportunity brings you.

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This process took me one day unfortunately (or fortunately) I have had a lot of practise. It might take you longer. You may need two days in shock and a week of small successful experiences before you can find the opportunities. You will find them when you look. The way you respond to a storm creates the next step in your journey, only you can decide how that journey will be. 

 

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Making New Year’s resolutions that are easy to keep! – Get inspired

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I love the New Year, don’t you? For me it is a time of potential. The old year is past and it’s a new beginning. At time for making new resolutions and new agreements with yourself. In fact you could say New year is the the only time where we collectively make a conscious effort in personal development as a society.

The only problem with New Year’s resolutions is that often they fall by the wayside as the year progresses. The challenge is that we often make resolutions too quickly, without preparation and sometimes to follow the accepted behaviour of our social groups than our own wishes. With all of this against us it’s no wonder our new promises fail.

However it doesn’t have to be this way! (Hallelujah!)

How? Slow down the process of making resolutions. Instead of making an on the spot resolution I actually take the whole of January to find the inspiration, choose and prepare for the changes I want to make in my life and create my vision for the coming year. And the result of this is goals that manifest and the wonderful feeling in december that I know I have done what I set out to do. And most importantly I have enjoyed the process.

This month I am going to take you through the process of creating your vision for 2017. By following the guide you will achieve the goals you set for you and live the life you imagine for yourself.

So this first week in January it’s time to get inspired…

Assess your life:

It’s time to take stock of where you are in your life. Who are you? Where are you? What have you done? What are you grateful for at this precise moment in time? What is it you are happy about in your life? What is it that you are unhappy about? Split your thoughts into three groups happy, unhappy and in the middle.

Throughout this week meditate in these questions and write down your answers as they come. Don’t do anything about them now, just collect this information.

Compare your life with your ideal life:

We all have an idea of how we would like our life to be. So next weekend take some time to write a description of your perfect life. And by perfect I do mean one where any fantasy and possibility is fulfilled.  

Remember a perfect life is not an end goal rather think of it as a continuously evolving process. How you want your life to be is going to change as you move through your life. What you need to identify now is what are the constant things you want to make you happy?

Compare your description with your thoughts about your life this week. What are the repeating themes? What is in your life now and in your vision of a perfect life? And most importantly what is not in your life now that is in your perfect life?

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By the end of this
week you will now have a clear idea of where you are and where you want to go. Don’t do anything about this yet. This is your starting point. The inspiration for the vision you are going to create and work towards. But you are not completely done. There is something else very very important you have to do this week

I want you to make yourself a promise this week. There will be something in your life you are very proud of yourself for. When you find it then promise yourself to celebrate it by next weekend. By celebrate I mean do something for you. PErsonally this week I am going to the sauna. This last year I have worked blooming hard and manifested many of my dreams so my present to me is to relax! But it doesn’t have to be big, it just has to be something that is you giving yourself a pat on the back and a thank you.

Don’t forget to write in the comments what it is you are proud of yourself for and how you are going to celebrate it!

Come back next monday to find out the next step of creating New’Years s resolutions you can keep…

HAve a wonderful week <3

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