Love yourself the way you would love your child – Self love in action


If you have been following my ramblings this may you will know that this month I have dedicated may as the month of self love in practice. My journey with self-love practice changes each year. Some years it is all about pampering, some years boosting my internal sense of self worth, some years have just been about giving myself time to do what I wanted to do. But this year has been about self love on a time deficit!  I have had one of the busiest Mays in many a year and more than ever I need to take care of myself. And it’s made me realise something really important about self-love practice.

Love is the foundation upon which all healthy lives are built upon.

I mean it should be obvious -right? We all know that love makes the world go around. It is love that is the foundation of all of our most important relationships with our partners, our children, our family and the gods (however you dom or don’t define them.) It is love that nurtures powerful growth, allows people to thrive and blossom.

So it makes sense that loving ourselves in the way we love, say our children is the foundation for us truly growing, blossoming and reaching our full potential.

And from this thought I have been cultivating a new approach to self-love.

What if we loved ourselves the way we love our children?

Now wouldn’t that be something!

Think about it. We love our children unconditionally, despite their flaws, the tantrums, the mistakes and the frustrations. Why not apply that same grace to ourselves? I found this idea has completely turned around my idea of self-love adn how to put it into action. All of a sudden the face masks and candles have gone out of the window (well back in the cupboard). And what has replaced this surface level self love practice is a deeper rooted, more nurturing form of self love than I have ever experienced before.

And it’s based on the roots of good parenting!

There are certain absolute truths that are the keys to being a good parent, and raising your child- despite the lack of a handbook. The ones I think we can all agree on are the following:

  • Loving unconditionally
  • Encouraging passions and personal growth
  • Setting boundaries
  • Nurturing the body with good food and rest
  • Fostering self-responsibility
  • Forgiving and accepting
  • Supporting the through the bad times
  • Celebrating their achievements
  • Telling them how proud we are of them.
  • Putting them first
  • Believing in them.

Now imagine trying to apply these truths to how you raise and take care yourself. Would you allow your child to binge watch netflixs until 3am? Or could you never forgive your child for making a mistake? Of course not. So why do we let ourselves do this things?

Mr T has a saying that can be applied perfectly to that kind of behaviour.- “Det dumb” (That’s stupid).

How about instead you ask yourself

Would I treat my child the way I am treating myself?

And if the answer is no, then change your behaviour. True love is not just all about the roses and the candles. It’s about doing what is right. Taking responsibility. Caring and supporting. And above all accepting someone is exactly as they are. And loving it.

Try loving yourself the way you love your child this week and see how your relationship with yourself changes

Let me know how it goes in the comments below

Have a wonderful  week

Love Emma xxxx

Love yourself as you would love someone else

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How to put Self-love into action today!

We all know that loving ourselves is important. It is the foundation of self-acceptance, any loving relationship and ultimately our self confidence. But as the internet throws this phrase around it can seem quite vague and fluffy.

Now anyone that knows me knows that I like tangible ideas and practical actions, not vague elusive concepts like the phrase self-love. And tangible and practical is something I feel is missing from the self-love concept bandied around out there. And from talking with others I know they feel the same too.

It is easy for us to think of actionable ways to love others—listening to them, helping them, appreciating them—but when it comes to ourselves, love is often just a feeling and not something we can figure out how to practice. So we don’t

And that sucks!

What we want and need the are of self- love to be is something we can put into action every day – but how on earth do you do that?

Well I think I have cracked the code to actionable self love!

Here are my guidelines to putting self-love into action everyday:

Check in with you

We ask our children, our friends and our partners how are you? Did you sleep well? How’s life? But how often do we do that with ourselves? Take time to check in with yourself and see where you need to take care of yourself.

One practical tool you can use is the wheel of life which can help you identify how different areas of your life are going so you can see where to direct your energy.

Another tool is to check in with your self esteem by doing free writing. This is basically automatic writing. So in this case you could try checking in by answering these 3 questions-

  • How do I feel about myself right now? (Be honest write the good and the bad.)
  • Why do I feel like this about myself?
  • What can I do to feel differently/better about myself?

Check in with yourself every day

Prioritize yourself

The most important factor in your life is you. And I don’t mean in a me, me, Me, MEEEE way! Quite simply if you don’t function mentally or physically nothing else will function. Putting others first to the detriment of you is the opposite of healthy living. It is not a sign of being a “good” person. It is an indication of a person who is not living life fully.

So put yourself at the top of your to-do list.

If you need sleep then schedule some. If you need to feel better about yourself make sometime for affirmations or eating food that makes you feel great.

Remember caring for yourself is self preservation.

Reprogram that internal dialogue

We believe the voice we hear the most and the phrases we hear most often. The voice we hear the most is our own inside our head. If that voice is constantly telling you that you suck, are not good enough or don’t deserve  good things, well just guess what you will believe?

Reprogramming our internal dialogue to being kind and loving is one of the most powerful self love tools out there.

Personally I use this amazing worksheet by Jessica Mullen as a weekly reprogramming session. This a great tool as it hits all the learning and therefore remembering tools. When you write it down, read it and speak it you are giving your brain a chance to hear love and REMEMBER it as truth. The more often you do this the more you will find you really feel more comfortable in your own skin!

Reward and celebrate yourself

One of the reasons we knew as children we were loved is by praise. But as adults we get this mostly in the form of a pay rise or winning awards. And there is a lot of competition out there. That’s why we all love our likes on social media. But do we remember to do it for ourselves? Well no not often.

However, nowhere is it written that you can not reward, praise and celebrate yourself!

Write a list of all your awesome qualities, write daily 3 things you are proud of yourself for or give yourself something to look forward to for being the amazing wonderful person you are!

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Before I started to conciously put effort into practicing self-love in action, I really did hate myself. Why ? Because the opposite of self love is comparing yourself to others. And that breeds discontent.

Now of course I do that sometimes, we all do. Yet now I can regroup and remind myself easily why I am awesome, unique and what I give to the world. And that feels amazing!

And even better since really practicing self-love became part of my everyday I can see the vibrations of that energy around me. I have finally found someone I love that loves me the way I deserve to be (and of course I him), I am respected by my peers and colleagues. And I know straight away if someone is a toxic influence in my life and set the healthiest of boundaries.

By putting self love into action I am happier, healthier and I love my life even more than before!

And I know 100% that if you throw yourself into the deep end and practice self-love on a daily basis this will happen to you too!

Come on in the water is lovely! 🙂

Let me know how you are going to make Self-love actionable in your life today in the comments below

Have a beautiful week

Emma-Jane
<3

#reroot #selflove #emmajane #monthofselflove #enjoyyourjourney #loveyourlife