#lifelessons101 – We have all we need inside to create a beautiful life for ourselves and make the world a better place. (With Bruce Almighty, seriously!)

 (This friday includes Life lessons from five people- some of whom you wouldn’t expect to be teachers!)

nothing-changes-unless-you-change

It’s been a busy week. My first full week back at uni college since, well since the dark ages. My head is full of analysing danish literature, newspapers and trying to keep up with the written work in a foreign language. In reality I am exhausted.  (So please excuse the rambling nature of this post – stick to the end I promise it will be worth it!)

Now with all of this I have still been looking forward to the beautiful time of autumn equinox, when the sun and moon, day and night balance. This is the time when the seasons turn and we step into the full beauty of autumn. I can see it around me. The leaves are green and brown. The land golden and green. Around me the world is in the midst of change.

Change. A scary but essential and absolute fact of life. Everything changes. Constantly. A long time I used to think that change was awful. It made me feel unsafe. However that was in the time before I began to understand that I am actually the choreographer of my life. For me this understanding has come in stages in fact a new teaching/reminder came just last night from where? The universe? (Well yes, but not exactly.) It came from Bruce Almighty!

Bruce reminded me of the point of understanding I have reached to make change my friend.  I  now understand and accept that I have everything I need to make any change I need or want in my life. In fact I have the power to do anything I want to do. I am the co creator of my life, Me and the universe dancing together.

When I started to think about how I learnt this it surprised me and I think it will surprise you to see who the main five people are that have made me so happily aware of my own power!

 

Lesson number 1: Michael Jackson. Flash back to the 80s and there am I sitting in my room with my, oh so cool white stereo, playing a new album (On cassette, we dinosaurs did not have cds or mp3s or spotify!) by Michael Jackson. Blaring out across my the room was “ The man in the mirror” again and again. If you have never heard this song then go listen. The only bit I can  ever remember is the chorus,

I’m Starting With The Man In

The Mirror

I’m Asking Him To Change

His Ways

And No Message Could Have

Been Any Clearer

If You Wanna Make The World

A Better Place

Take A Look At Yourself, And

Then Make A Change

 

Even today it still gives me goose bumps. Now whatever your opinion is of Jacko, in these words he is unquestionably right. A certainty of life is that you have the power to completely change only one thing in this world. And that’s you. And from  the ripples of that change, the world around us changes.

Lesson number 2 : Ghandi. How could it not be, right? The immortal words “Be the change you want to see”. By changing us we reflect out into the world.  Showing it the way we want it to be. At first I took this mantra in relation to environmental protesting. E.g. How could I protest about human abuse of the Earth if I didn’t recycle. I still believe this to be true and do my best to live in a truthful and authentic way. But as the years have gone on I have understood the message much more internally. If I want the world to be a more beautiful place then it’s me that has to change my reaction to whatever life sends me.

Lesson 3: Buddah. Of course he was going to be in here. My A-level English teacher taught me one thing that has stayed with me for the rest of my life. (Well he taught me two things but don’t get me started on why Australian people should not analyse Chaucer and compare him with Freud. We will be here all day.) He taught me the story of how Buddha chose not to accept the gift of negativity. One day I will post up the story and link this article to it. But for now the message is that Buddha could have chosen to be angry or to not be affected by another person and he chose the latter.

Lesson 4: Jim Carey. I know Jim is not the first person that pops into mind when you say inspirational people changing my life (neither is Michael Jackson . I digress. You hopefully get my point). But Jim is inspirational for me. HAve you ever heard Jim speak about the law of attraction? If not do, university youtube means you can see this all night. At one event  Jim asks “ Are you aware that all of this is happening inside of you?” His speech was about intention and how through our attention we are the creators of our own experiences and our own lives. If we consciously react to a situation it is us that makes it good or bad. For example by missing the bus and having to walk to a destination to be on time is taken as a bad thing ,then believe me it’s going to be a bad walk. But if you choose to be grateful for the experience, notice the scenery and even discover a new route, then that journey will be fun and enlightening. It’s up to you how you create it.

And the ultimate, ultimate lesson which lead me to the best peace of mind I have ever known and wish I could share with the whole world, every single day. The last piece of the jigsaw which makes all change and life so very much easier. Well that I found out through a long, long journey but last night I got reminded of it again. As promised….

Lesson 5: Bruce Almighty. God and Bruce are talking in two different scenes. In the first  God is asked how he can permit all the suffering in the world God, the amazing Morgan Freeman; replies ”I don’t permit the suffering. You do. Free will. All the choices are yours.” It really is that simple. We have the choice. But the other scene? Now that really hammered it home to me . Again God and Bruce are talking I can’t remember or find the exact quote but it goes something like this. Bruce asks God what if he needs help? And God points out the problem with people is that they are always looking up for help when the solution lies within us. We have the power within us to solve any problem, create any change, survive any change, enjoy our lives, hate our lives and achieve anything we can dream.

 

Now , I know its tough. Butwhen you realise the amazing tool kit  you have inside of you. Understandings passed down the generations in your DNA. The achievements you have made and the disappointments you have survived. The teachings life has given you, even when the lesson comes from the most bizarre of sources. You will see that you have everything, no  you have so more than everything you need within you to make a wonderful life for yourself . And at the same time  you can also make the world a more beautiful place. 

(And next time you forget it turn to Jacko to remind you !! Have a fantastic weekend!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PivWY9wn5ps

 

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Change is just another word for adventure

changes gives you the oppertunity to grow

Change happens around us every day. We all go through life changes puberty, marriage, old age. In natural world the process of the seasons transitioning is much quicker than the natural changes is in our lives. Conscious change(when we know it is happening), can be one of the scariest processes of all. Conscious change can often be unexpected and a sharp jolt in the journey in our lives such as a death, a relationship breakup or even losing our jobs. Or it can be planned a wedding, a pregnancy or moving home. No matter how conscious change comes whether seen as positive or negative, our natural reaction comes with fear and anxiety and often stress.

In 6 days I am making one of the biggest changes in my life. I am moving away for the life I have created for myself over six years in Copenhagen and moving to Jutland to begin living with my boyfriend of two years, the wonderful Mr T. Now although this is a happy moment in my life and one I have dreamed of for, well two years; I am shocked at the amount of fear and anxiety I am feeling. As always I want to understand and work with these feelings to grow from them. So over to my favorite resource google and in my research I have found it is actually a perfectly normal reaction to life changes, no matter how pleasant they may be. (Yey! I am normal not an emotional overreacting wreck losing sight of perspective and sanity!)

Biologically when we face change our bodies get into fight or flight mode. Chemicals and hormones and adrenaline start to race around the body and we stand in the middle like a rabbit in the headlights. The body can’t actually differentiate between physical threat and the stress of change. Great, and I thought I was just concerned about being packed on time and having enough space on the trailer.

Fortunately there are ways of coping with change in a positive way. Here are …….tips I have found to help me and you cope with changes in ours lives.

Acceptance

It’s ok to feel afraid, anxious or stressed don’t beat yourself up about it. Remind yourself this is a natural reaction to the change in your life.

Identify your fears and feelings

Write a list of your fears and feelings. When you identify what your challenges are you will be able to see where you can resolve some of these things and where you have to accept them. I have used part of the serenity prayer to help me with this process.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

Courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Find the opportunities to grow

Every change creates new opportunity to grow. Sometimes it is hard to see but the loss of a family member can bring a family closer, the loss of a job the oppertunity to find something better for you. Think back over the major changes in your life. How did these changes give you opportunity to do something positive in your life? Again make a list of all the opportunities this change will create for you. Remember this big change is just a phase of transition and you will find a rhythm in your life again.

Make a plan

Of course this is not always applicable . If it is applicable make a plan of how you will respond to this change. For me I found this list was actually much bigger than I expected and really helped me feel positive about the coming change.

Use your support network

It is ok to ask for help, to talk through your fears with your family and friends or even if you feel comfortable within a help forum. If you are moving there are so many ways to keep contact with loved ones email, phone, Facebook or even the old fashioned letter. If you need help it is a good idea to try and identify how you need help. For example I have asked Mr T to be especially romantic and loving this week to remind me how lovely it will be together forever.

Do what makes you feel happy

If exercise is your thing then do that, drawing do that. It’s good to relax although when fears are getting the better of us it’s good to relax in a busy way. Don’t forget to watch your favorite films and at this time yes it’s its ok to eat some of your favorite comfort foods too!

Reaffirm to you that this is a positive experience

Affirmations are a fantastic way of tricking the brain into a new thinking pattern Every time your brain tries to go into your fears tell it NO. Then fill your brain with a positive affirmation. You can use the following or create your own, and keep it simple

“I can do this”

“Everything will be alright”

“All is well in my life”  

“I am willing to change and grow”

If you find it challenging to say an affirmation I find it helps to pick my favorite to print out and put up at home or use it as a screensaver.

Remember that the nervousness won’t go completely away, however I found that by using these steps it does help the nauseous feeling in your stomach turn into butterflies and now I am feeling excited about the coming change in my life . After all change is just another word for adventure…….