#lifelessons101 Stop and smell the flowers

After all the hustle and bustle of the start of the year here we are at the Easter weekend. It’s been an amazing 3 months here at Re:Root with the launch of the Re:Root Coaching Solutions, prepping for the new radio show, as running up and down country teaching and coaching. I have loved it. And I am also exhausted and in need of a break. Although thanks to one very important life habit I have I am not as exhausted as I could have been. It’s what Mr. T calls stopping and smelling the flowers.

The idea is simple and easy to do and won’t cost you a penny. Stopping and smelling the flowers is about just taking a moment to stop and notice things in life. Children do this instinctively. For them, the world is a place of wonder and marvel. Yet as adults we lose that fascination with the world we live in. We become blasée. Seen it all before, done it all before and we are far too busy. We even teach this to our children rushing them along to playschool, playdate not giving them the time to marvel. It’s such a shame. And such a waste. Because by taking a moment to look up and appreciate the world around us can give us such an energy boost. A moment of recharge in an otherwise busy life.

I love to look for the little things that make life beautiful. The light dancing on the water of the fjord, a bird of prey hovering above a field and the fresh shoots and plants emerging right now in the spring. Every year the same and every year different. When you begin to look for it the world is full of beautiful moments. Here is a list of my favorite ways to look for the special moments in life. The bits that make every day a gift and boost my spirits no matter what. Why not take a moment this Easter to look for the special moments around you in life and take a moment to enjoy the gift you have of your life

Take the train

When we travel by trains we get to see the world a new. Train tracks travel the country differently to the motorways. They provide us with a different viewpoint on life (And often a sneaky peak into peoples back gardens!)

Look up at the clouds

Do you remember looking for pictures in the clouds as a child? I loved this game. As an adult, we forget to exercise the muscle of imagination. Practice next time you are waiting for the bus and see what you can see passing by above you in the wind.

People watching

I love this. People are the most interesting form of entertainment. If you have the time order a drink in a cafe, sit outside or by the window and watch the world go by. If you don’t have time for a long break then enjoy people watching at work, on the bus, in the supermarket.

Smile at babies and say hi to dogs

Babies have the most beautiful smiles. Playing peek a boo with a baby in the supermarket queue can’t help bring a smile to your face. Equally greeting dogs or cats (depending on your preference) gives a comfort and joy.

Look for nature’s beauty

Fill your life with nature’s beauty. Have lunch in the park instead of a restaurant. Walk to work through the park. Get outside the world is full of beautiful things we just have to find them. Take a moment to sit on a bench and look at the trees, the birds, it really is amazing to see how much life there is around us that we hardly ever see.

Pick flowers

The world is a different place as a child as we spend more time with our nose closer to the ground. As an adult, this is rather hard. However, picking flowers will bring us back there again. Of course, make sure you are allowed to pick them and if nothing else make a daisy chain. Get in contact physically with nature just by lying on the grass and you will find that life feels amazing again. (Personally, I love to climb trees but do make sure it’s in a place where you are allowed!)

Watch a sunset

I love sunsets and sunrises. Although these days I tend to see more sets than rises. Find out when sunset is, find a good viewing point. Pour yourself a glass of something nice and sit and enjoy.

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There are a million and one ways to stop and smell the flowers. These are just a few I love but I hope  you take the time to find your own and fill your life with the energy-boosting moments that make life even more wonderful

Happy Weekend <3

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Practising abundance -the art of luxury

“Save a penny and walk, and be thankful” is a saying that has stayed with me since my childhood. I first heard it in the book Ballet Shoes where bus fares cost a penny and it was better to walk than waste the money.  This phrase for some reason has stuck with me. It reeks of common sense. The practical thing to do. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I realised that although it is full of common sense and hints at strong moral fibre, is also full of a poverty mindset.

A poverty mindset is the opposite of abundance thinking. No matter how much you have in life you will never feel as though you have enough. Ebenezer Scrooge is the best known poverty mindset literary character. The richest man in town with a tiny fire and hardly any candles scrimping, saving and living a mean life. Yet not all people with a poverty mindset are as extreme as Scrooge. Poverty mindset is sneaky and tricksy and often unbeknown to its owner is hidden deep within their psyche. I see it alot in my line of work and this week I have been travelling in Austria with a whole family with a poverty mindset. (And yes it has been challenging.) Rather than spend a little on a warm drink they at cold sandwiches freezing on a bench in the snow. Ate up all their food on a plate in the restaurant even if they were already stuffed full, just because it is the right thing to do. Sat in agony with back pain and refusing relief, help or even a cushion. They cut corners wherever they could resulting in unnecessary uncomfort, and sometimes downright stupidity, under the cover of the it’s the right thing to do. Whilst I in my usual way celebrated the moment, looked for opportunities and found so many of them  (such as a magical ice village up a mountain and swimming outside in a snowstorm).  And was very much looked down upon by said family. However I had a great time and I am returning home with pocket full of beautiful memories which I wouldn’t trade for all of the euros in theirs.

It got me thinking. Why do we believe that having a poverty mindset in life is morally correct and look down on those who choose to celebrate abundance? In my book the answer is twofold low self worth and jealousy. People with a poverty mindset either:

  1. Don’t believe they are worth much and therefore have too low self worth to ask for what they want or need.
  2. Are jealous of others in their lifestyle and the things they have and would rather blame and play victim than take a deep look at themselves.

In both cases they do not believe themselves to be rich in life and therefore never will be. I feel sorry for them. I know how it is. I used to be just the same. Today I know that I am rich. I love my life. Is it because I have a lot of money? No. Is it because I have lots of expensive stuff? Definitely not. (Well I do have a lot of stuff just a lot of it comes from 2nd hand shops- I love a bargain!) It is because I have a bank full of memories, eyes that look for opportunities and a very grateful heart. And not in the least I practise the art of luxury.

The art of luxury is my own creation. It could also be called the art of because I am worth it. Or the art of because I deserve it. Everybody deserves to have luxery in their life, to enjoy abundance. However sometimes abundance can be a challenging challenging concept to manifest in reality.  Practising the art of luxury makes it very straightforward.

Recognition:

First you have to realise that everyone deserves to be treated or rewarded in life. When I work with clients on manifesting goals, I always ask how will you reward yourself? Often this seems like a strange concept to people. However the logic is simple. You have out in effort, you have created something, challenged yourself you deserve a reward. As adults we don’t often have the supportive cheerleading team we had as children. The compliments and praise that got us through potty training, joined up handwriting and university is scarce. Rewarding ourselves is a way of giving our selves that cheer squad boost. Now some people disagree with this carrot and a stick method but to them my arguement is this. Humans are designed to need praise, if we didn’t need it then how would parents teachers and bosses giving praise or promotions  get such good results? We love to strive for a reward. You deserve to be rewarded. To have nice experiences in life. There was no human born on this planet the was born with the intent that they should be miserable. So recognise this and give yourself permission to enjoy the beauty and wonder available in life. Even if that is someone offering you a pillow and a pain killer when your back is hurting.

Gratitude

So once you have recognise that you deserve to be rewarded, to feel lifes abundance you need to start looking for it. Nothing gets you noticing the good in life like having an attitude of gratitude. BEing grateful for both the small and big wonders in life is the BIGGEST step to practising abundance and the art of luxery. When you become grateful for lifes many blessings you realsie how wonderful life is. Wether its the morning cup of coffee, the great compliment you got at work or the family all sitting enjoying dinner together all the things you are grateful for become the guidelines of how you enjoy life.

What does luxery mean to me?

Now we all know there are different strokes for different folks and it’s the same with your personal definition of luxery. I mean none of us would complain with a billion dollar life style I am sure but if that is your only definition of luxery then you are going to have a very dissapointing life. You may of course reach that shiny land. However if your eyes are only on the prize then you won’t get to enjoy the journey. So define what makes you feel like you are expeiriencing luxery, experiencing abundance. For me it can be an evening alone. A single glass of champagne. Watching a film I really wanted to see. Travelling. Adventures. The list is endless and made up of both small and big luxeries. Make a list of what is luxouirous for you.

Oppertunities

Oppertunities comes in 2 parts. The first is that you have the oppertunity to create moments when you enjoy luxery such as today I went to the spa. I have been planning it and looking forward to it for such a long time. It was to reward myself for all my hard work last year and to indulge in a day of self love practise (one of this and last year’s major themes for me). So create your moments of luxery. Plan them. Plan one right now and go write it in your diary…go on… I’ll wait….Good.

The second is simply that you ask yourself in any given situation *what would make this moment better for me? ‘  Basically you look for the oppertunities before you. This week I was up a mountain (you know as people are) It was a glorious sunny day, the view was stunning. And I noticed someone in the restaurant near the viewing platform was drinking champagne and that is one of my luxeries. So I ordered myself a glass and enjoyed the view. Then I saw that there was another set of cable cars going down the mountain to somewhere I didn’t know and hadn’t been. So of course as I had oodles of time I went down and evetually found a lovely watefall (and the way back home). Now I know not everyone has the  time or the  money to do this. However there is always a way to make an experience feel more luxourius you just have to look at the oppertunities you have around you.

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The point is that yes you can save a penny and walk, that’s your choice. But do it because it makes you feel good, or find a way to make it good for you. But choose. Don’t deny yourself luxery in life because of a hidden dominant  poverty mindset. You are in control of your life. You overcome , you achieve and you deserve to be rewarded. The art of luxery is just a tool to help you connect with a feeling of abundance. Did I appreciate the mountain view without the champagne? Of course. But with it the memory became more special and I felt so much gratitude to be where I was, doing what I was doing and I know I will never forget it. These are the moments that make me feel rich and abundant in life. I hope that by practising the art of luxery you will feel rich and abundant in yours. After all you are worth it.

HAve an amazing week <3

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Lifelessons101 – How to be a positive person in 6 easy steps

We all have that one person in our network. The complainer. The pessimist. The person you can spend 5 minutes around and feel stressed and worn out just by listening to them. There are people in this world who just live in the negative. I have one in my life and recently after a long conversation with them I felt like I was pulling my hair out due to wave after wave of negative stories. Honestly I felt like a washed out dishrag afterwards. And it got me wondering. Why is it that people find it so hard to be positive?

A few hours of google-fu later I found the answer. Apparently it’s a psychological phenomenon called negative bias. It’s a common human trait to fixate on the negative. It dates back to our stone age hunter gatherer days when we  had to constantly be vigilant for danger. Now that makes sense in a world full of predators, but it makes no sense as to why we still do it it today. We are now at the top of the food chain after all. Constant negativity today is harmful to ourselves and to the people round us. However luckily there is a way to override this genetic programming and choose a positive life much more suited and beneficial to our modern lives.

So here is my #101 guide on how to be a positive person, see if after a long week at the office you can implement some of these ideas into your life and see how much better your world can be.

Notice the good

Have you ever realised that it is easier to notice something bad than something good? For example; you might get a stream of compliments from a lover but one little less than perfect remark and that’s what you remember. (I know I have done this, Mr T is very good at pointing out when I do this). Try and notice the good things more. When you get a compliment notice it. Avidly focus on good things for 10 secs for example the sun is shining, you cats are playing. Notice the good and you will see more.

Turn the conversation around

When you can feel like you have been complaining in a conversation for a while or someone else has try and turn the conversation in a positive direction. Sometimes just asking someone if they have something they are looking forward to helps lift the mood. If in doubt try and pull a positive story from somewhere, even the last funny video on Facebook can be a great mood changer. I mean who doesn’t like cat videos right!

Choose your stimulus

What is it that you invest your time and energy on. Choosing where your stimulus and input comes from makes a huge difference in your outlook on life. 10 years ago I was watching the news and I realised how depressed and anxious it made me, the adverts inbetween tv shows bugged me and I decided to quit TV. I now haven’t had a television for 10 years and it is one of the best decisions I ever made. Of course we have Netflix and HBO and if there is something I hear about going on in the world I check it out online. The difference is I now choose what I watch and what I invite into my life. You can do this with your Facebook feed and un-follow negative feeds and yes you can do it with your social circle too. In fact that is probably one of the most important areas where you can choose your input. Surround yourself with positive people and your life will feel nicer. It’s not rocket science it’s just choice.

Slow down and enjoy your life

It’s easy to miss opportunities to be positive when you are rushing around like a headless chicken. In a fast paced world irritation runs rife. So slow down. Plan breaks and be mindful how you use and enjoy your time. Making enjoying your life the most important thing in your life will shift your focus from pessimistic to positive overnight. Don’t wait for your pension to slow down start savoring you life right now. (I mean it right now).

Sing and dance

Music has one of the most uplifting effects on our moods. If you are feeling low find a favorite tune, sing along and bop around in the kitchen. I used to find that listening to happy music on the way to work started my day so much better than just watching the other commuters on the platform. And I am pretty sure that I amused them when I forgot where I was due to the awesome music and danced a bit on the platform too!

Spread it around

Positivity breeds positivity. Think about it if you see someone smiling you smile too. Say hello to strangers, smile at the bus driver, compliment a colleague in the way they look. See if you can do at least five things to spread positivity each day. Making others feel happy makes you feel happy, it’s simply a win win situation.

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Of course there are many ways to be a positive person these are simply a few ideas to get you started. Adopting the attitude of gratitude is another powerful way to be positive which you can read about here. The most important part of being a positive person is choosing to be a positive person. You have to reprogram your genetics a little and take control. You want  positive life then you have to change your attitude to your life. However as you can see the smallest of change in your habits can and will turn you into a positive person. 

Have a happy weekend 🙂

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You are already living an Abundant Life

You have an abundant life. Didn’t you know? You do. We all do, actually. People tend to treat abundance as a goal, a state to get to. However we are actually born abundant. We are born into a world where the natural law is abundance. There is enough air, enough water, enough trees. Yet we are really good at making ourselves believe that there is a scarcity, that there is not enough. And in our panic we go scrabbling after more.

The “not enough” mindset is one of the by products of a capitalist culture. The whole advertising industry relies on our belief in there not being enough for their income. Because if we actually thought we had enough, who would react to their advertisements, right? It is this type of industry that sets abundance as a goal. But what if just for a minute we did something crazy and started thinking about coming from a place of abundance. If we took abundance as the starting block not the end goal. Now wouldn’t that be a different way to live?

Theoretically when we look at our life situation as abundant we free ourselves from the scrabbling energy of trying to get to an abundant state, and that my friends is the place where we truly are abundant, because we are able to use our energy consciously to enjoy our abundant life.

Now you may be thinking reading this  a big fat “YEAH RIGHT”, you may think your life is not abundant (oh how I am gonna enjoy proving you wrong) and you may also be thinking well if I am so abundant why don’t I have enough…………?  Well my friends that sense of lack you are holding onto right there is part of your problem. Remember the law of vibration. What we send out the universe mirrors. If you are sending the ‘I don’t have enough’ vibe into the universe and guess what you are going to get back. Exactly what you send out, lack.

It may surprise you to know that even multi millionaires can feel the way you do. Even they can feel they don’t have enough. Which tells me that the state of ‘having enough* is not a physical thing, it’s a psychological state of mind. And state of minds as we all know can be changed and improved with a little work.

So let’s take a closer look at this non abundant life you think you are living, because I promise you that if you take this journey here and now, you will start to see how abundant you truly are.

Gratitude

If you want to check in with your abundance the first thing you need to put into action is practicing gratitude. List the things you have that you are most grateful for, people, qualities, material things, it doesn’t matter. Just be grateful for what you have. You can make one big list or simply do a daily gratitude check at the end of the day

Harvest

This is tuly apt for the part of the world where I live right now as the tractors are working night and day to bring in this years harvest. But what about you? Have you ever stopped to look at what you have harvested in your life? What have you done. created or achieved that you are proud of ? Write a list in your journal it can be this years harvest or your life’s harvest and give yourself a pat on the back or a large glass of wine for being so awesome.

What is enough?

Now this is a toughie but  a goodie. Look at your gratitude list and your harvest. Is this enough? I am not asking this question to get you to think of new goals, I am asking you to look at all of the things you are grateful for and proud of and ask yourself if somebody described their life to me would I not believe that they had an abundant life, would I not think that they have enough? It’s power thinking and reverses everything. because the moment you believe you have enough you release yourself from hours of stress and agonizing over how your life could be better.

Great. So now you can see how abundant you truly are (I am now gonna take a moment to say I told you so ;P). That is what you are now sending out into the universe. I am abundant. So the universe will respond by sending abundance back to you. And you can support this energy transaction by a few simple practices that will support your abundant state.

Appreciate the now

Of course the gratitude list is one way of appreciating. By being mindful  of how awesome your life is, taking steps to appreciate and experience it fully radiates your appreciation of life. So log offline and have a picnic with your family, treat your mum to a nice lunch or just pamper your senses by eating your favorite chocolate bar mindfully tasting every last mouthful. Go out (or stay in) and appreciate the now of your life. This minute is precious because you can never have it again so enjoy it.

Respond

Another way that you can enhance your feeling of abundance is to choose how you respond to something. For example the  bills arrive. We all have this. We all hate it. But how about changing that response. Whenever I get a bill I say to myself. I am thankful that I have the money to pay this or I am thankful for the wifi this bill represents which keeps me connected to my family. A small energetic shift makes a huge difference.

Share

Sharing our abundance spreads the joy around. We have managed to end up rent a huge house in the countryside (wow I am so grateful for that!) So whenever we can we invite our city friends over to a weekend of having fun sharing food and drink and being together in a beautiful space. We give away what we don’t need and sometimes we get given things we do need. Doing nice things for people stranger, friends or animals makes life so much nicer for everyone. You can’t help but feel abundant when you make other people smile.

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So how do you feel now? No matter what your situation in life, there is abundance in it. It takes a little altering of your perspective and behavior to appreciate your abundance, yet the results of these changes are immensely powerful and make life much more enjoyable. Rich is not a state of accumulating it is a state of being. You just need to define your own state of rich.  Starting from abundance breeds abundance. So why not dedicate this week to celebrating your abundant life and see if by the end of the seven days you find that you are richer and more abundant than you have ever been

Have a magical and abundant week  <3

 

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De stress before your summer holidays!

I don’t know about you but for years June has been one hectic, pressure pot waiting to explode, then at the end the glorious summer holidays arrived and I, would collapse. Worn out to the edges and totally over stretched when my body finally got told it was ok to crash, it did. Teachers I know especially can relate to this. Somehow as a teacher all the bugs you have been fighting off all year tend to hit you the first day of the holidays.

This year is going to be different. I have 2 and a half weeks until my summer starts so I am going into holiday mode now. This year instead of running on overdrive up until summer I intend to wind down slowly, consciously and get the most out of this precious time out as possible.

How to do it ? Well just follow these easy tips and slide gently into your summer chillax mode:

Know you have time

Yes you have deadlines. Whether it is the shopping for the summer holidays or the corporate merger meeting before your plane takes off to Bali. Know you only have a limited amount of time and that you will achieve what you CAN and NEED to achieve in that time.  make a list of your deadlines and then prioritize in the following way

A: What needs to be done now

B: What can someone else do – delegation

C; What can wait until I get back

Delegate and then focus on the A tasks.

Incorporate you time into your day

15 minutes you time a day will help with your wind down and will give you the energy to get the last things done. Try and take it midway throughout the day. 15 minutes meditation, yoga, nap, walk outside (in nature- it’s definitely the best) or reading will help your body and mind wind down,

For even better results plan a day off before the summer, and I mean a day off, no cleaning, no I have to I should dos. Nada! if you can’t manage a day try two evenings. Any break time you can give yourself do it, your body needs this.

Sleep

Get to bed earlier than you normally do. If you are over stretched then you need your sleep. It truly is one of the best healers in the world. Go to bed 30 mins earlier than usual. If you cannot sleep read or talk to your partner. I find doing mindfulness colouring books in bed (something I have done ever since childhood) is a great wind down. Just make sure you switch off all phones laptops, tvs and tablets. Make the last 30 mins to an hour of your day for you.

Plan your summer holidays

Motivation is what we need. So loosely planning your holidays and how you will use your free time will help your to get motivated and at the same time make sure your get the break you need when you get there. I plan to have the first two days of summer holidays to wind down. I have the usual cleaning, washing and a workshop to write but I am putting those on day 5 and 6. The first 4 days are for me. Then I am going to have a few days to enjoy being at home before packing and hitting the road. My wonderful friend once showed me her first day of summer holidays ritual. She made a poster with all of her things she wanted and had to do on it. She had a great time with it. Putting on glitter glue and drawing, her kid makes one too. With champagne in one hand and glitter in the other this is the start of her summer. However you plan your holidays just make sure there are some nothing days. Completely unadulterated days with no plans and complete freedom.

 

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Start your wind down to summer this week and feel the benefits of arriving on holiday stress free and ready to enjoy your freedom, however you choose to do it!

Relax Unwind

Need more time, just plan your day and free yourself!

Planning. I know, I know we hear it all the time. If you plan your day life is simpler. I used to rail at the idea. I was absolutely no-one is going to tell me what to do, even if it is me telling me what to do! I wanted spontaneity. And I got it. Things popped up sporadically constantly and eventually I got bogged down by the chaos. In fact I got trapped by it. Ironically by not structuring my life I lost the very freedom I had been fighting to maintain. And along came the opportunity to structure my life and my days. And voila within a month or two I had more time, more energy, more breaks and was 10 times more effective. I felt freer than I had done for years. And I felt, and still do feel; in charge of my life, what’s not to love!

So how do you take charge and start to make order of the chaos? Well there are many brilliant books out there that will help you do this. My personal favourite is Eat that Frog by Brian Tracy, an absolute master of planning. Not only does he offer effective and simple ways to organise your day, he advocates smart energy use which offers flexibility and the opportunity for spontaneity to come into one’s planning. And that really is the key to being organised is to be structured and flexible. I have used my system for at least 10 years now and I find it really helps keep me focused and has the added bonus of showing me my achievements every month. Here I outline the basic strategy I use. It sounds a lot at first but once you put this system in place it soon becomes a quick and easy habit and makes so much of a difference to your time and energy in the day.

My 3 part daily planning system

You might be thinking 3 parts wh, what! But don’t worry you don’t need to make 3 to do lists per day.  

Step 1 – The month list

The first part of the system comprises of making a monthly list of everything that you need to get done that month. And I am not just talking about what you have to do. I am also talking about the things you want to do. I have a notebook in which every month I use only 2 pages to fill out what I want and have to do that month. I divide it into sub headings of Work, Life (doctors etc), Me and Social. The Me part is really important it is sooo easy to forget ourselves in the planning so make you a focus.

Step 2 – The weekly list

The second part of my system is the weekly list. Every Monday with my morning barley coffee, I sit and make a week list from my month list.  Its actually really satisfying to cross off what I have achieved in my notebook and write a list for my desk for the whole week. I get to check in with my progress and remind myself how awesome I am for achieving so much!

Step 3 – The daily structure

The last and final part is the daily plan. I actually have a table I made in word and have printed off so I can fill it out ( I love the old fashioned pen and paper) however you could do this on the computer or via an app. I simply block out my day in time slots and fill in the appropriate actions using my week list.  The form I have made has areas pre-made for breaks and relaxation such as my 30 mins reading before bed or 15 mins in the massage chair when I get home.

After this I just follow my day’s plan. It really is as simple as that. Of course sometimes things go wrong or the unexpected happens so adjust. The important thing to remember is the 70% rule.

The 70% rule of planning

I got taught this by a danish pædagog. He said that it is almost impossible to achieve 100% of our goals per day, everyday. Expecting this is setting ourselves up for a fail and we eventually lose motivation. So his take on it is that by achieving 70% on our days wish list that is the same as achieving 100% of all our goals. It should be thought of as being the same accomplishment and having the same value as a 100%. By doing this it relaxes the mind. You feel less stressed by knowing its ok to achieve only 70% and after while you find that you are actually achieving much more than 70% but without stress.

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Taking 5 to 10 mins every day to know what you are going to do and when in your day makes life easier. It frees you from the task of remembering everything in your head and frees you from making decisions when you are tired later in the day. By using the 70% rule and checking off your lists you become more grounded and conscious of your achievements. And if you plan for it you find that you will free up your time so that you too can enjoy your journey, re-energise and relax when you need it. Take 5 minutes for you today and see how much easier it can be when you make a plan.

Plan your life like you will live foreverLive your life like it will end tomorrow

#lifelessons101- Being authentically you in the spotlight in just 3 steps! (2 min read)

When was the last time you were naked? (And no I am not talking about physically I mean metaphorically). In this past week I have had the privilege of participating in the Wonderfully Wierd Women’s Branded workshop created by Esther De Charon De Saint Germain

This workshop for me has been a breath of fresh air.

Why? Well because I dared, I committed and I was authentically me. I put myself out there. And everybody liked it! Now that might not sound so difficult, when put like this, yet it is. Let’s take daring. Daring to do something that you are afraid of doing is natural. Especially when you have to end up in the spotlight. And I mean YOU have to out YOU the real YOU in the spotlight. We are all of us petrified of being us and being rejected. And actually that’s ok. It’s normal, almost genetic you could say. Theories say that this feeling comes from the days when we part of a tribe. Then our survival relied on that tribe, so daring to be in the spotlight was risking the tribe rejecting us, or worse killing us. It’s a basic survival instinct in our subconscious, However we don’t need to be scared of rejection anymore. Because the world is actually a smaller place these days. No-one is going to kill you if you stand up at work and dare to be different or present something. The fear of not daring actually causes much more pain to us than actually doing it. So we have to take charge of this fear.

This week I took charge. I dared to tell a bunch of strangers about me on a personal level. I dared listen to feedback on some really vulnerable things. Was I scared? Hell yeah! Did it stop me? No way! I fought that fear and did it anyway. And the result? A bunch of people I never met saw the authentic me as a strong powerful and even inspiring person. They saw the raw me. It was so empowering. I simply employed the power of fuck it and fuck them. (Not the most poetic of names I know but truly descriptive.)  

What I decided was simple. In 3 steps I found a clear path to being authentically me in the spotlight, and I want to share them with you.

Step number 1 : Acceptance

I basically accepted that not everyone would like me or resonate with me. I can’t please everyone and not everyone is going to like me. So what was the point in hiding me away trying to do the impossible and make everyone like me. And the ‘fuck them’ was born!

Step number 2 : Daring and do

Well if you can say ‘fuck them’ and decide to ignore all the people that don’t resonate or appreciate with you then you can say ‘fuck it’. Why ? Well because really if you know you won’t please everyone it stands to reason you will please someone. So ‘fuck it’. And once you have said ‘fuck it’ you have the power to dare, so do it. For me it was turning up at the workshop, doing the challenge and then putting out there for people to see. It might be the presentation, taking the talk with your partner or simply putting on the dress you are hella nervous about wearing (Oh and when it comes to the dress people won’t notice. This happens to me a lot. I debate, worry, take it on, off etc when I think something is too daring, then I wear it anyway and people just act like , well like normal around me! After all my stress it is a little insulting).  Nike is right “Just do it” be bold be brave and step into the spotlight.

Step number three – Enjoying the results.

So if you followed the step one and two thought processes by now you should have already dared and are standing in the spotlight being authentically you. What next? Well stop closing your eyes and waiting for a thunderclap, open them and enjoy it. When you are authentically you, you will find that the right things happen, the right people are attracted to you and equally the right opportunities open up for you.  When we are authentically and honestly ourselves in the spotlight we inspire people. People actually begin to expect us to do it, it becomes our norm so to speak. So quit worriting and enjoy it.  (Celebrate your successes remember!) And if you meet someone who doesn’t like you then authentic you go back to step one and start all over again!

Have a great weekend and be authentically you while you are at it <3

REMEMBER

Have a healthy life by celebrating your success! (2 min read)

I’m sitting here alone on a Monday afternoon, in a cafe on a sunny day in Denmark with relaxing jazz in the background and a tall cold, glass of bubbling wine in my hand. I am celebrating my latest success! It’s lovely. I probably don’t look as chic as I feel but it’s the feeling that is important not the way I look. I feel fantastic. And part of the reason I feel so great is not just because I have been successful. It is because I have taken this hour to celebrate my success.

In our busy lives we actually have many successes be they small or large and yet in the hectic schedule they can often be overlooked and therefore go unnoticed.  All work and no play made jack a dull boy and the same goes for you too. Our successes in life are our high points. If we don’t acknowledge them then life is seriously boring.

In today’s society we are all incredibly focused on what is wrong, what is not working and how can we fix it. I am not saying that is all bad, good growth comes from this form of processing; HOWEVER if we only ever focus on the bad, we will only ever see the bad. And if you are seeing only bad then guess what? You will attract more of it. And that my friends creates a negative mindset and we all know how unhealthy and damaging that can be.

There are many reasons why you should celebrate your successes and when it becomes a habit you will find that life actually becomes EVEN MORE successful for you. Why ? Because as you send out a vibration of success the world around you ripples back a wave of success.

Here are 5 reasons why you should celebrate your successes, no matter how big or small, today

It feels great!

It feels wonderful to celebrate something we have achieved. It energises us. When we achieve something our body releases dopamine the happy chemical into our blood. And as  after all being happy and enjoying our life is what we all want, right? So why miss a perfectly good opportunity to enjoy yourself!

It’s inspiring!

 

Celebrating or success can be inspirational to our future successes. Just as we can learn from something going wrong we can also learn from it going right. Make a note of what you did that helped create your success and look at it when you are aiming for a different star.

It’s motivating!

It’s logical. If you are working towards a goal and it always feels like that goal is slipping away and is un-achieveable then why would you want to keep going. By marking our successes big and small, especially the small, we remember them and we can feel how close we are getting to our goal and that makes us want to keep going. Your success are proof that you can do whatever it is your set your mind to do.

It attracts more success!

Basically the more you celebrate your successes you develop a success mindset. And that is a mindset you need to keep feeding. By noting your successes you are telling yourself “look at what I can do”. Keep looking for opportunities to celebrate your success and you will surprise yourself with how often you have success.

It’s shareable!

Celebrating your success with others is a form of sharing abundance. Think about all of your friends happy pictures and statuses on Facebook that make you feel good. People want to have fun, they like to hear good news so let them join in your fun and make everyone feel great!

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So no matter what successes you have had today, big or small, it could be managing to do the washing up when you are seriously depressed or celebrating your first big movie deal, whatever it is celebrate it. Remember as Osho says “Life should not only be lived it should be celebrated”
Have a wonderful week <3

celebrate your success

What’s your secret Disney Identity? Disney films and characters as a self development and motivational tool (3 min read)

I was recently asked if ‘You were a brand what brand would you be?’ ‘What brand would describe your personality?’ Wow great soul searching questions and the answer? I would be Disney. (And seriously for a natural conscious earth respecting hippie like myself I was shocked at this however the fact remained that I as a brand I would be Disney.) Creative, playful. A Walt Disney quote is even one of my mantras “If you can dream it, you can do it”.

The more I thought about it the more I wondered why is it that I connect so much with Disney? And the answer came to me relatable characters, adversity  and bravery to follow their dreams and stories that connected with me at the right place and time in my life when I needed to hear a particular message.  Honestly the Little Mermaid was me at 11, rash and daring, Belle at 14, desperate to go out into the world and escape my small town life, Mulan the warrior facing and winning against all the odds inspired me in my partially homeless 20s and Tiana now in my 30’s determined to create my dream into reality. I have been a constant Peter Pan all of my days, with the optimism of Winnie the Pooh and lived all of the fears and bravery of Piglet. And not forgetting Up, the film that inspires and epitomises my dream of a true love and partnership.

Most of us have a favourite Disney film and a favourite character. But have you ever thought about what your connection to that story and character is ? (Apart from your tshirts, mugs and cuddly toys either hidden about the home or proudly displayed.) Every story we have heard or seen  and remembered has affected us on a conscious or unconscious level. As we feel drawn to a character we admire them, their personality traits their resilience. I mean who wouldn’t love to have Rapunzel’s effectiveness in housework chores. Seriously though these characters we love display qualities we wish to possess or mimic. For example take my connection with Belle. She didn’t fit in, neither did my 14 year old self. She didn’t seem to care and stayed determinedly herself, my 14 year old self desperately wanted to do that. Belle made sacrifices for her father who she loved and put his needs before her own. Something I have always done (although the latter was not a healthy experience it did teach me a lot). Her story is as much a transformation as the Beast’s and oh didn’t my bespeckled, teeth braced awkward self want the transformation from bookish outsider to a loved and appreciated beauty.

These films, these characters we identify with have messages for us all throughout our lives if we look for them. Recently I re-saw Beauty and the Beast and I was shocked at the power of my emotions. Honestly I was crying and afterwards when I looked at which songs I had been so moved by I realised that my life situation at the moment was reminding me a lot of my teenage gawky school days as I now face my recent Asperger’s diagnosis and living in an entirely new place. The film helped me see the challenge clearly and from that I have now been able to work with it.

Try watching your favourite Disney movie. Make notes of where you feel emotional pulls. Who do you identify with and why? How does this character, plot line relate to you now or in the past. Journal this and see if you can find a teaching in the message the film has given you. (And sorry no I cannot be more specific the message is yours to interpret I can’t guide you there, just keep looking until you find the answer).

Disney characters can also be used as a way of identifying our ideal personalities. Now please don’t get me wrong I am not saying any one Disney character is absolutely perfect, they are not. However as I mentioned before they have qualities we admire that we would like to see in ourselves.

Think about the qualities of your favourite character. What do you admire in them? Write a list. Now look at each quality ask yourself how am I like this? If you cannot see this but would like to then ask yourself ,how can I bring this quality into my life?

Many years ago I found out quite by accident that not only can Disney character’s help us learn about ourselves, they can also act as motivators and inspiration. A girlfriend was in a bad situation. She loved Pocahontas. So I, in my desperation to help ,asked what she though Pocahontas would do. To my surprise her body language took on a different quality. Her head went back and she knew exactly how her favourite character would have handled her situation. So I told her to connect with her inner Pocahontas when she need the bravery to face her problem. A few days later she was on top of the world and the problem was on her way to being solved! I have tried this time and time again and I have always found it works. We just find it easier sometimes to think through another’s perspective and character. Plus when we think of them we smile and feel good, which just goes to show Disney is doing what it does best if it can evoke that feeling even years after we have seen a film.

Or maybe it is as Tinkerbell said “Imagination has no age”. So allow yourself to connect with your inner child and find your secret Disney identity this week. Allow the magical kingdom to open doors and pathways to healing, understanding, bravery, imagination and empowerment whether it’s from a mouse, a fairy, a princess, a stuffed bear or simply a warthog <3

 

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