#Life lessons 101 – How to find your balance and ride the wave when life starts going wibbly wobbly


Sometimes life just goes wibbly wobbly. You know what I mean. There hasn’t been a big trauma or drama, you are not having to fight for survival. Things are just out of balance and you can’t seem to get on top. Your energy goes low, you feel out of sorts, restless and frustrated. Personally I have been feeling wibbly wobbly all week. And I am not alone. Almost everyone I have seen this week is in a similar place. Now this maybe a seasonal epidemic as we transition through autumn or it may simply be a case of attracting what I sending out into the universe. Who knows? And more importantly how do I get my life back together anyways? 

Well funnily enough surfers have the answer.

Life going wibbly wobbly is just like a bad day of surfing with inconsistent swell patterns and messy waves. On days like that surfers miss easy waves, sometimes even smack themselves in the face with their boards and generally decide they are the worst surfer in the world EVER. Just like me in my wibbly wobbly life they can’t ride the tide and the feeling makes you want to give up. 

But as any surfer will tell you the key to riding that tide and coming back from a run of bad surfs,  is finding your balance. And that means getting out of the water and off the board. It’s the same thing that helps you to find the balance when life is going wibbly wobbly. 

The only way to stop this wibbly wobbly feeling is to break the cycle, re center, re:root and find my point of balance. 

We all have a point of balance. It’s different from person to person, but it’s there. Physically and emotionally. But how to find it? 

Personally as I practice seasonal spirituality I tend to take my cues from nature. So looking round right now nature is in transition. Autumn hasn’t really hit and winter is already creeping in. I am stuck between wanting to hibernate and fighting to move forward. Balance is about navigating transition – rather than trying to ‘nail’ a spot and (desperately…er…um) gracefully hoping to stay in it or stay on my board. Balance is my core and center. The point inside me where everything is interconnected. Life being wibbly wobbly means that somewhere something is off inside of me and that’s where I have to focus to be able to ride the tide. And what nature is telling me right is that I need to let go just as it is letting go of its leaves. I need to wind down as the sap begins to slow down it’s flow. I need to strip back to my essence just as the trees are beginning to show the skeleton of their trunks and branches. In essence to find my point of balance I need to stop fighting so hard, let go , slow down and connect with my essence. And that for me is sleep, hearth, home, yoga and creativity. And that is what intend to focus on.

That works for me but as I said everyone’s point of balance is different. So how do you find your point of balance? Here are a few ideas to get you started.

Get off the board and out of the water

Take a tip from the surfers and get off your board and out of the water. If things are going wibbly wobbly that the universe is trying to tell you something. You are not going to hear the message if you just keep on going. Stop. Whatever it is you are doing. Turn off the phone, close down the computer and reconnect with you. Ask yourself what is causing me to be out of balance right now? A great way to do this is to use the Wheel of Life Tool. It’s a great check in tool which will help you quickly identify what is going on. 

Here is a free online Wheel of Life you can use in less than 2 minutes to check in with your self.

Do a physical MOT

For finding my point of balance for me often means looking at how am I taking care of my body. Like when your car gets an MOT we need to got through a checklist of self care. 

Have I been sleeping enough? 

Have I been eating properly? 

Have I been winding down enough? 

Have I been moving my body enough?

Basically do a check in with you physiological needs. If you are fulfilling one of those needs then that is where you have to focus right now. The car won’t run without a regular intake of fuel oil and water. Neither will you. Make sure you are taking care of your personal engine. 

Find what balances you

In order to be inbalance you need to know what balances you. Have a look at both when you last felt in balance and the things that make you feel grounded and in yourself. It could be that being in nature re balances you or spending time with the family. It could be that it is important for you to get things done or to live in keeping with your values. Or it might be meditation or talking with your best friend. Brainstorm a list and then take a look. When did you last do these things? Choose a couple that you feel are the most important to you and do them. As soon as possible. This week. Even right now!

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Rebalancing takes time and energy.  You have to consciously choose it and prioritise it. As I was writing this article, I made the decision that for the next few hours work can wait. I need to wind down and recharge. So now I am laying on squishy pile of cushions with my duvet at hand and candles lit. As soon as I finish this I am going to take a nap and then do some yoga. Learning from nature letting go and winding down so that I can ride the wave tomorrow.

How will you connect with your point of balance this weekend? 

Have a lovely weekend

<3 Emma-Jane

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How embracing healthy boredom is the key to your creativity and productivity


I am a time management nut. I love to be productive, to cross off lists and get things done. I fill every minute of my day. Both consciously and unconsciously. When I have a break I check my social media, re check my emails. Even my downtime is fairly structured. I have projects to complete, personal goals to fulfill and my self care is scheduled in there too. I am effective and I like it.

So imagine my horror this past weekend when I suddenly found myself bored. Due to being ill I wasn’t able to follow through with my plans. However, I was at that stage of ill where I couldn’t just sleep and therefore had nothing to do. Nothing to do. I can’t remember the last time that happened. (Well in fact I had a lot to do but couldn’t do any of it.) For a while I aimlessly checked social media, watched netflix and played a few games on my phone. But it sucked. I was frustrated. I was bored. Nothing felt right and I couldn’t settle. 

But then I eventually got past the frustration. I went outside and looked at the stars. I played with my cats and eventually got creative and made a birthday present for my friend I hadn’t even thought about making. If I hadn’t been bored I would have done none of these things. The result I got creative and peaceful yet I still felt productive. Seriously I felt relaxed and had a great night’s sleep. This experience got me wondering:

Is being bored and key to accessing our creativity and productivity in a healthy way?

So today I did some research and guess what I was right! 

Boredom actually benefits our creativity and mental well being, productivity is actually just a bi product of that.

In a study at Pennsylvania State University, psychologists Karen Gasper and Brianna Middlewood found participants who were bored performed better in creativity tests than those who were relaxed or feeling elated.  And MRI brain scans have shown that the connections between different parts of our brains increase when we are daydreaming

The researchers say that being in a state of boredom encourages you to explore creative outlets because your brain is signalling that your current situation is lacking and you need to push forward.

Research has also shown there are two types of boredom. Healthy and unhealthy. Basically as sentient beings we have a choice to fulfill the lack we experience under boredom with a choice of stimuli. The difference between healthy and unhealthy boredom is the stimuli we choose.  Sometimes people can choose really unhealthy behaviour such as comfort eating or over use of stimulants such as coffee or alcohol. The most common way of filling that lack is with technology. I bet you thought of social media right. However, people also check mails and rearrange their calendars, research projects too. Sitting on the couch checking in with a coworker, watching tv and updating tomorrow’s presentation. The productive art of multi tasking.  Or maybe not. 

Scarily multitasking can be just as damaging to our brains as overeating or drinking!

Basically whenever we change tasks our brain engages a neurochemical switch which uses nutrients. If we are constantly shifting from one thing to the next we are depleting our neuro resources as we go. Remember we have a limited supply of those. Don’t think this applies to you?  Then look at the research. In her Ted Talk ‘How boredom can lead to some of your most brilliant ideas’  Manoush Zomorodi tells us that only 10 years ago we changed our tasks at work once every 3 minutes. Now its every 45 seconds! When working on a computer we, on average, change tasks 556 times per day. That is insane. No wonder your brain hurts and gets stressed out. Oh and that’s another thing stress leads us to shifting our attention more rapidly. It’s a never ending cycle. 

But does it have to be? 

What if we embraced the power of healthy boredom and invite it into our lives?

So when we are bored we go into default mode. Our conscious brain connects with our unconscious. And it is here we can access problem solving and creative thinking. Now in order to allow this to gives us a benefit we first have to stop the cycle of unhealthy stimuli. Step away from the phone, turn off netflixs while you fold the washing (one of my personal favourites) and don’t let yourself grab the next cup of coffee. Then as Amy Fries, author of Daydreams at Work: Wake Up Your Creative Powers suggests guide your daydreams away from more personal thoughts and onto the challenges you want to tackle.  Not to immediately fix the problem, but to mull it over. Give your boredom meaning and purpose and you will avoid unhealthy chronic boredom and engage the positive boredom benefits.

Fries also suggests doing activities that give the opportunity for this to happen. Walking, for example, is a great way to spark a daydreaming state of mind –  provided you can avoid plugging in your earphones, going for a swim, not taking your phone with you on a lunch break or simply staring out of the window instead of a facebook when you can’t concentrate on a work task.

Give yourself a boredom break and the gift of connecting with yourself and your creativity

Friedrich Nietzsche said

 “He who fortifies himself completely against boredom fortifies himself against himself too. He will never drink the most powerful elixir from his own innermost spring.” 

We all have our ‘innermost spring’ and boredom is one of the keys to accessing it. Why not give yourself a boredom break this week? Allow your brain to enter default mode. Look out of the window as you commute, do mundane tasks without distraction or just focus on one task at a time. It might feel hella uncomfortable at first but stick with it. Redirect your thoughts and engage that big beautiful creative mind of yours and access the benefits of healthy boredom.

Philosopher Bertrand Russell  thought that a certain power of enduring boredom is essential to a happy life, in a healthy dosage. 

And after all being happy is what it is all about my friends!

 So How will you give yourself a boredom break this week ? 

Have a great time! 

<3  Emma-Jane xx

#lifelessons101 – How random acts of kindness will deepen your gratitude and enrich your life


In my happiness project this month’s theme is gratitude. I have been consciously aware of the things I have to be grateful for, making sure that I let the people in my life that I am thankful for them. And yes, I do feel blessed by all the wonderful and beautiful things in my life. 

Yet although I feel great, I have found that these actions have only been level one of the layers of gratitude. In my experience, feeling so good about my life brings me such joy that I can’t help but want to spread that feeling around. And where better place to start than inspire gratitude in others by than by little acts of random kindness? That has been this week’s mission and in doing this I made a discovery

I have discovered how random acts of kindness enriches not only someone else but also enriches your life and gives us more to be grateful for. 

For example one morning this week, I was standing in line at a kiosk tired and demotivated.  However, the woman in front of me was obviously having just as a bad day as me. She tried two cards and both were declined. She scrabbled in her bag looking for change, only to find none. Eventually she asked the sales assistant to serve me whilst she made a call. As I was being served I could hear her phoning her student loan to ask why her money hadn’t been paid in. All so she could have a coffee and a sandwich. Now from experience I know how this can ruin your day. So I told the sales assistant to add her things to my bill and paid for them. I have always wanted to so this and it seemed like as good a time as any. Bless her the stressed out lady looked so grateful (and a little bit shocked). She thanked me and I left. It felt great. I knew that that little act of kindness will have turned her day around. 

Could I afford it? Well not really. Money has been tight here of late. But the emotional effects were so enriching. It made me think of times in my life where I too had not had the money to pay for food. And people helped me out. It reminded me of how grateful I was for their kindness. And how grateful I was to be in a position to so it for someone else now. I spent the morning glowing with gratitude, both for my past and my present. For the cost of a coffee and a sandwich I felt energised, blessed, lucky, grateful and so very abundant. In short I felt happy.

Why is it random acts of kindness makes us feel so good?

Well there is a lot of research out there. Studies have proved that random acts of kindness make us

  • Feel grateful by giving us a heightened sense of our own good fortune
  • Feel empathy and compassion creating a sense of interconnectedness with other people
  • Feel less stressed and happier by the dopamine, serotonin, and endogenous opioids released by kind behavior.

Compassion and kindness also reduce stress, boost our immune systems, and help reduce negative emotions such as anger, anxiety, and depression. Being kind to someone else moves us out focusing on us and our problems and empowers us by helping someone elses. 

Random acts of kindness are good for us mentally and physically

Research has also proved that by witnessing little acts of kindness it can release the same feel good chemicals and experience in the observer. One act of kindness can release an enormous chain of positive events. Imagine that the slightly grumpy sales assistant felt happier after seeing me help someone out and consequently was nicer to the sleeping morning commuters, they felt better going into work after that, brought a nicer vibe to the office, giving them a good day and happiness to their home in the evening. She might have been inspired herself to do a random act of kindness herself. It’s impossible to say if that happened. However it is possible that my little action did make a lot of other people feel better on a grey day. I’d like to think so. 

Random acts of kindness cost us nothing and bring an amazing benefit to our lives as well it gives us and other people something to be grateful for. 

It basically deepens our gratitude and enriches our lives for free. Now who doesn’t want that! You’d almost be cutting off your nose to spite your face if you didn’t try it. 

There are so many ways that you can be kind, such as:

  • Letting someone cut in front of you in a traffic jam. 
  • Stopping to talk with an elderly neighbor, even though you are in a rush.
  • Lending a helping hand to a co-worker who’s behind on their project, even though this means that you will have to stay late at work
  • Sending something funny on fb to a friend having a bad day

And I am sure you can think of thousands more. Random acts of kindness can truly transform not only your day but your life.  And it can take less than two minutes to do.

If you could do one random act of kindness today, what would that be? 

Have a beautiful weekend

<3 Emma-Jane

5 STEPS TO REASSESS YOUR LIFE AND LIVE WITH INTEGRITY – inspired by Greta Thunberg – the wise child

As someone who has always been environmentally aware if not active I have been remarkably silent about Fridays for future. I wondered why until this week it became awkward and abundantly clear. 

Greta Thunberg makes me feel uncomfortable. 

Not because I don’t agree with her. I do. So very very much. 

The reason Greta makes me feel uncomfortable because she is a constant mirror reminding me that I am not living with integrity.  

And I am guessing I am not the only one. Well there wonuæd be so much Greta hating in the news right now if there wasn’t. 

What Greta does, honestly and simply is to remind us all of our inconsistencies. She lives out her principals in front of us. Despite ridicule. Greta’s passion. Her ability to walk her talk and embody her principals is hella inspiring. And for those of you like me that aren’t following their principals hella good at making us feel ashamed. Consciously or unconsciously.  And that only highlights our own inconsistencies.

For example, this nature loving vegetarian person has been neglecting to avoid using plastic, has been known to frequent fast food restaurants and is practically a patron of supporting a corrupt world wide company because I say that I am addicted to their soda. Now how the heck does that run along with one of my core values which is taking care of the planet. Sure I gave up meat. That was hard. But when I don’t really live my principles in full unconsciously I know it and somewhere in the back of my head there is a little guilt voice nagging at my sense of guilt and self worth. 

Now it may be that your principles are nothing to do with being an environmentalist. That’s fine each to their own. But say one of your values is honesty in relationships, then you tell a white lie about how much that new top cost you. Or you place family high on your values yet haven’t spoken to your brother for 2 months because you have been too busy.  

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, 

“Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.”. 

And I agree.

So Greta you have given me a gift you wise child and damn inspiring young woman. And that gift is a check in with my own values and integrity. To ask myself do I know what my values are? Do I live a  life of integrity? Do I walk my talk?

 I created a process a while ago called Life integrity check-in. A quick 15-minute tool to reassess life, check in with values and to consciously check in that I really am living a life of integrity. You might be thinking why bother? I walk my talk. But do you really? 

When did you last check in with your values? 

When did you last reassess your life to see if you are prioritising or ignoring the things that are most important to you? 

15 mins of checking in with yourself and connecting with your values is going to make you feel better. Either you will find some inconsistencies and figure out how to fix them or if you really are living a life that exemplifies your values you will get a nice self confidence boost. 

I invite you to try the following process. It will help you to really see where you are, how you are living and if this really is the way you want to live. 

Life Integrity check

Step 1: The question to ask yourself is this: What is truly important to me in life?

Brainstorm a list of your values as your answers to this question. Be specific. So some of my list looks like this (In no particular order of importance):

Heath and Happiness 

Mr T 

Having a home I love

My cats

Nature

My spiritual path 

Doing a job I love

My bro

My parents

Inspiring people 

Writing

Being creative

Learning 

Taking care of my planet

Gardening and making stuff from scratch

Step 2: Ask yourself- what is really important to you this list?

The next step is to prioritize your list. This is the most difficult step because it requires some intense thinking.

Identify the top value, then the second highest value, and so on until you’ve rebuilt the whole list in order of priority from the top to the bottom. So you may begin by asking yourself these questions: Which of these values is truly the most important to me in life? If I could only satisfy one of these values, which one would it be? The answer to this question is your number one value. Then move down the list and ask which remaining value is the next most important to you, and so on, until you’ve sorted the whole list in priority order.

Step 3: Now ask the question How much are my values prioritised in my life?

We may have these values but do we prioritise them? Go through your list. Put a smiley 🙂 next to those that are visibly prioritised in your life, an uncertain emoji for values you sort of prioritise and a sad face 🙁 for values that are not prioritised at all.

It’s quite interesting to look at. I found that I was only prioritising 14 of my values in my life. 9 things that were really important to me were only semi prioritised and somethings that I thought very important were not prioritised at all.

Step 4: Now ask yourself How would I like to prioritise my values in my life?

Now you can see what matters to you and what you are and are not prioritising, ask yourself “How would I like to prioritise my  values in my life?” We all do only have 24 hours in a day and of course, we would love to fill every moment of the day as we liked. But this is not always possible. So you have a choice of daily, monthly and weekly. Assign this to each of your values. Basically, you are choosing how you will prioritise your time according to your values.

Once you have assigned Daily, weekly and monthly to each of your values rearrange them in the order of daily, weekly and monthly. This gives you a new and unique perspective on your values and what is important to you.

Step 5: Now ask yourself What can I do to make this a reality in my life?

In the last step, you created a wish list of how you would like to live with integrity. Now you need to plan your action. Make a practical mini goal for each value of how you will prioritise this daily, weekly or monthly in your life. So, for example, I have ‘Making memories and having adventures’ as something I value and wish to do on a monthly basis. So I have to make sure there is a time in my calendar every month for an adventure day with Mr T, or a good friend to have an adventure and make a memory.

Prioritise these goals in the order you would like to start introducing them into this month. Don’t try and do everything at once. Choose a few  (maybe one monthly, one weekly and one daily) and start to create these fantastic new habits that mean you are living a life of integrity. Put this month’s goals somewhere you can see them and make it so

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Remember to book in your calendar next month ’s life integrity assessment. Remember your values change. Maybe next month you would like to focus on something else. For example, I know that my health and Me time is high on the list this month as I need to recover. However next month it might be spending time with my Mr T. You may just choose new goals to start to fulfil from the list you make today or you may find that you make new goals. This system is as flexible as you and will change with the ebb and flow of your life keeping you true to yourself always.

And when we stay true to ourselves we are happier and isn’t that what it is all about

So I have to say thank you Greta not just for the fight you are taking on, the hard position you are putting yourself in by being a leader of a worldwide movement, for fighting for a better future, for being brave enough to face the attacks despite the challenges you face doing the right thing and walking your talk. 

But MOST of all thank you  Greta for waking and shaking up not just the world, but for waking me up again and reminding me of what I truly believe in and reminding me to walk my talk.

Have a wonderful week <3

# Life lessons 101 -How to avoid burnout and re prioritise RnR when you are insanely busy

This week has been the start of my hella stressful 10 days. I have periods of life like this occasionally where my days are just unavoidably  jam packed and that’s the way it is. Since I started working with time management these insanely busy times are less and less. But it’s like Christmas hols with a lot of family parties or the 3 deadlines that coincide with your child’s 11th birthday and your best friend’s 40th birthday sometimes you just can’t get out things that are happening all at once. And if like me you have a time pressured life already, these intensely hectic busy periods can leave you exhausted and burned out. And we don’t want that. The answer to avoiding this post hyper-active busy period burn outs is relatively simple

When you are insanely busy that ‘s the time, more than ever, that you need to prioritise RnR

I know. I know. It seems impossible. But trust me if you can learn this art you will probably still end up tired, that’s unavoidable yet, you will be less tired and will ultimately avoid burn out. 

The key is all about how you prioritise both the things you have to do and your R and R.

Take my next 10 days. In this time I have 32 coaching sessions, am teaching 4 workshops, travelling up and down the country, have 3 articles to publish and won’t be at home for 6 nights. By anyone’s standards this is insanely busy. But here I am on day three and to be honest although I know I am busy I feel relatively relaxed and grounded. How?  you ask. Well it’s the result of some major planning. When I have a busy period coming up I have a few planning tricks that get great results and give me the down time I need to get me through it. 

If you have a busy period coming up these tools will help you glide through it without creating intense or worse, irreversible time pressure stress damage. 

Pre busy period preparation

9 times out of 10 we know when a busy period is coming up in our calendars. Which means we can take advantage of some tactical planning. Look at the weeks before and after the hella busy point and schedule in your calender times before and after where you can recharge your batteries. For example I have refused all social activities for the last 2 weekends to give me time at home. 

And don’t just stop at planning your time. You can use these weeks to get you prepared for the busy time. You might not have time to do any major house cleaning during your busy time so do it before then you can be happy with putting a minimal effort when life get’s hetic. I for example knew that I wouldn’t be able to do washing due to not being home so I did the whole damn lot before I went away so it won’t seem insurmountable when I get back. Ialso know that when I get back I won’t have much energy to cook for the week after I return so the freezer is now full of easy dinners for me to heat up such as lasagne, jacket potatoes and quiche. 

Basically the pre busy period is about being aware of where your energy will be during and after and preparing what you need to make life simpler during that time. 

Cut down non-essential tasks

Before your busy period decide what you can cut out during that time. Is it really that important for you to go running every morning during that hella busy week or is it more important to make sure you get the sleep you need and run 3 times less? Do you really have to tidy the whole garden or can you get away with just cutting the grass? Which tasks can you put on pause or spend less time at work on, to make sure you can put your energy into meeting your deadline? You have to be really honest and sharp in your prioritising here. And don’t you dare designate all r n r moments as non-essential. Yes you can cut them down but DO NOT remove them! During my busy time I have cut my training down from 2 times a week. It’s given me 2 extra evenings to recharge and go to bed early.

By making the decision to cut down on non essential tasks beforehand, you will avoid the guilt loop during your busy time. You won’t be thinking ‘oh I should be doing this, that and the other’ because you know that you are doing what you really need to do and there will be time later for that. That guilt loop takes a lot of energy by removing it you will have more energy for yourself.

Plot in your R n R buffers

The R n R buffers are important for pre, during and post busy time. Don’t just leave the periods of down time empty. Plot a few activites in that you know will give you an energy boost. Last weekend I dedicated a little time to doing a jigsaw puzzle and watching a series. It’s not something I do often but it gave me alot of energy without taxing my brain too much. I also popped in an extra swim and sauna last week knowing I would be not training as much in the next 14 days. I have another weekend planned with nada, nothing which will be dedicated to some easy creative projects, the dark crystal series and cosy time in my garden to recover.

The most important R n R buffers are of course during the busy time. Look at your schedule and block out sometime for yourself. Wether it’s an hour before bed where you wind down, setting yourself the goal of completing one thing that will make you happy and putting time aside for it or simply designating a 30 minute earlier bedtime so you can unwind with a book put it in and STICK TO IT! 

So for example my  r and r buffer is going to be a morning off for a swim and a sauna during my busy week and making it important to unwind after 21:00 each evening. It’s these little things that really help to keep your energy up and burn out away.  

Check in with your energy

During your busy period you have to check in with your energy levels. When we think of be productive we often plan after out tasks rather that whether or not we have the energy to complete them. That there. Right there. Is the recipe for burnout. I check in with myself in the morning when I look at my todo list and once again at the end of my working day. When you check in you ask yourself where is my energy at? What can I cope with today? And prioritise after that. If you are low and have an intense day then it is totally ok to drop making dinner from scratch and order a takeaway (and we are so lucky in this day and age that there are many healthy takeaway options).Do I have to call my friend tonight or can I use that ten minutes to do something my body needs like yoga or meditation?

Planning after my energy levels has seriously been the most effective tool I have found in managing my busy periods and staying mentally healthy. It allows me to think realistically and accept what I can do, what I can’t and focus on the former. 

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Prioritising your R n R during an insanely busy period is one of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself

Surprisingly it makes you more effective in your life, brings peace of mind and lightens up times that could have been so stressful. These tools take no longer than 5 – 10 minutes of your time and are simple to implement. After a while you won’t notice you are doing it. 

What you will notice is that when you prioritise your R n R in a  hectic life period you will have less breakdowns and be happier – and after all isn’t that what we all want in life

How are you going to prioritise your R n R in the next busy period? Let me know in the comments below

Have a wonderful weekend 

Emma-Jane <3

What little moments do you live for?

It’s been such a lovely weekend. Not because we had a special occcaision or a holiday or anything ‘big’ like that. Nothing instagram worthy. This weekend was just a weekend at home, of cooking, cosyness and relaxing with Mr T. Yet sometimes those weekends, the non instagram ones, are the best of all. Filled with the little moments that make life worth living.

Now I have always been an advocate of adventures. I’d feel that long periods of home were boring and that my life had somehow stagnated. However as I have been focusing on rerooting and growing a stronger foundation in my life I began to thing about something Kurt Vonnegut said,

 “Enjoy the little things in life because one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.”

So I decided to put some conscious awareness into just that. 

One of my happiness project goals this year has been to invest time, appreciation and awareness into the little moments that make life worth living. The small things that make each day beautiful. Like taking time to play with my cats, making it important to spend quality time with Mr T beyond the regular Friday date night and enjoying the simple pleasures like trying to make more homemade food. Not to say I am a kitchen goddess in any way shape or form, far from it. I have just been indulging in enjoy it! 

And the benefits of this goal have really surprised me. Not only do I feel more relaxed and re-energised when I take the time to consciously  be aware of the little moments that add value to my life. I truly feel more content, rich and abundant. feel grateful and proud every time I go into my garden and see the fruits of my labor blooming. I appreciate the time spent at home laughing, creating and just being.  I am more aware for example of the hundreds of small things Mr T does and now regularly thank him for his small acts of kindness and thoughtfulness. Time spent at home is less and less brain dead watching Netflix and cabbaging out. It’s quality time. Basically home is a nicer place to be and the more I do this the more of an adventure my life feels right here at home.

I have discovered a simple truth

When we take time to make the little things important our life is better for it.

There are many ways to do this. And it doesn’t take that much effort to refocus your energy in this way. And trust me the benefits are plenty! Here are 3 guidelines that I have used in my happiness project. I hope that they inspire you to find the little moments in life worth living for and improve your quality of life:

Be grateful

You might think you are grateful for your life (or maybe you are in the unfortunate situation where you don’t feel grateful for anything in your life), but what are you grateful for? 

Intentionally notice the things you are grateful for and keep a record of them. I recommend a daily practice of writing 3 things each day you are grateful for. The more you look the more you will find that is good.

Make time for the things you appreciate

Just being grateful for something is not enough. As your become aware of the things you are grateful for you may also notice you don’t prioritise these things in your life. Last year I put a conscious focus into 10 of my friendships that I had neglected. Taking time to Skype with friends far away. Having regular friend dates. It enriched my life. But so does taking the time to invest in a hobby, a passion, walking in nature, cuddling your pet. Whatever makes your life lovely make the time to do it more. Put some time aside in your calendar to spend time doing  something you love or that adds value to your life. 

Prioritise hygge over ‘have to’s’

Living in Denmark has taught me the art of Hygge. Hygge is a Danish word for a mood of coziness and comfortable conviviality with feelings of wellness and contentment. Hygge takes effort. Whether its putting a blanket around you as you watch tv or putting flowers on the table and lighting candles for dinner on Wednesday evening just because you can, or prioritising that conversation with you 6 year about Ninjago characters instead of doing the washing up. Hygge makes life better. We often prioritise the ‘have to’s’ over hygge. And yes we have a lot to do and not much time to do it in. But sometimes it is ok to jump over the have tos and have some hygge instead. If you have been feeling like you are on the proverbial treadmill for a few days then you are definitely in need of some hygge. Sod the washing for once and go build a den and some lego with your 6 year old for an evening. You will not only feel better you will have made a lovely memory you will cherish in the years to come. 

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The little moments in life often go unnoticed. Especially these days where the proving how amazing your life is online  culture runs rife. 

Yet in reality it is the little moments that become our fondest memories. 

It is the little moments that make up the fabric of our everyday lives, that grow the strongest roots and without a doubt re-energise us when we most need it.

So the question for you today is simply this,

What little moments do you live for? 

And how are you going to make them important right here and right now?

Let me know in the comments below 

Have a wonderful week 

Emma-Jane xxx

Sacrificing something you love – the secret to manifesting your goals

I have been looking forward to this moment for two months. Finally I am sitting at my computer and writing to you all again. It’s been two months since I last sat down to write a blog post. Now I suppose in the grand scheme of things that doesn’t sound like such a hardship. But for me not being able to blog and put my musings down on paper (or screen) is something I really missed in my life. Now as I love this so much you might be wondering why have I spent so long away from the keyboard? Well it might surprise you to know this has been a conscious choice. 

I stepped away from making my regular posts to work on a life goal that means even more to me. 

Basically I gave up something I wanted to do to focus on achieving something I wanted more. 

Giving up things in order to manifest our goals is an important an often overlooked part of the manifestation process.  Think about the whole process of setting a goal. We choose what we want to do, decide how and when we want to do it and then we crack on with it. We rarely stop to think about the things we will have to give up or change in order to reach our goal. In fact it is often something we do unconsciously.

It may sound negative to focus on giving up things. Or to use another word ‘sacrifice’. However for me I find that consciously focusing on what I will have to give up to reach a goal makes me:

  • Aware of the behaviors I will need to change
  • Assess how important is the goal to me (or basically how much do I want it)
  • Commit and dedicate more energy to achieving my goal.

If I take an example from my own life, I am currently trying to achieve a major life goal. Through assessing what I would need to sacrifice in order to get there gave me some very clear realisations. I realised that in order to achieve my goal, I really needed more time to complete and dedicate to the project. I also need to put myself out there in a way that challenged so many of my fears.  I saw clearly that I need to focus an intense period of time to my project and that meant not only giving up my regular blog posting, but also I had to work one day less a week, which has had a substantial negative impact on our economy. I had to get over and work through fears built up over many years and allow myself (and my creative work) to criticism. The result? I am one gigantic step closer to realising my life goal. I am stronger for opening myself up for criticism and better at my chosen craft. And I am proud of myself for committing and completing this stage of my manifestation process. Now I can concentrate on getting our financial situation improved without the frustration that it is at the cost of my life dream. 

Seriously I feel amazing! Powerful, focused and energised and on my way to some exciting manifestation! 

September is the perfect time to consider what sacrifices need to be made to reach your year’s goals. As the leaves are turning golden and brown, the year is slowly turning to a close. You may have started this year with many goals but now you have only 3 and a half months to complete them. When you think about it like that it can seem extremely stressful! However this is where the sacrifice evaluation process will save you A LOT of stress, as well as getting you back on track and focused.  This process will see you at the end of this year with completed goals and empowered by your achievements.

It’s time for you to look at what will you give up to reach your goals

Step 1:  Look at your years goals

Have a look at the goals you set for yourself. If you didn’t make goals you can think about your new year’s resolutions. There will be some you have worked on, some you have forgotten and some that are just not relevant to your life right now. Choose 3 you really want to complete by December 31st. 

Write them out clearly on a piece of paper

Step 2: What will you sacrifice? 

Ask yourself what will sacrifice in order to manifest this goal. Do you have to give up time to go to the gym? Face your fear of rejection to ask your boss for that promotion? For each of your surviving goals brainstorm things that you can give up to make your goal actually happen. 

Look at the ideas you have come up with and choose the ones that you can truly embrace. And cross out the rest. If you don’t feel you can really make the sacrifices you have come up with you have to ask yourself if this goal is really something you want and are willing to work for.

Step 3: When will you start? 

Commit to a starting point for when you will give up this thing, behaviour you have chosen. Write it in your diary. Commit to your goal and it will happen. 

Step 3: How will this benefit you? 

Lastly look at each goal and the sacrifices you have chosen and ask yourself ‘how will this benefit my life? ‘ Under each goal write a sentence to remind you of this. So you could write

Giving up ………… will benefit my life by…………and support me to manifest my  goal of ………

Put the piece of paper somewhere you will see it when you need to be reminded of why you are doing what you are doing. And then get on with it already! If you don’t act nothing will happen. 

Make your sacrifices and manifest your goals

I use this process periodically throughout the year and ALWAYS in late August or early September. And believe me it is one of the most supportive processes I have in my manifestation tool kit. If you want to get you have to change. Sacrificing, giving up something you want or a behaviour is basically that, a change. It’s prioritising what is most important to you and that my friend is the secret of manifestation. 

If it is truly important to you, you will make it happen. 

Sacrificing is just the catalyst to remind you of how important it really is.

Let me know what you are going manifest this year and what you are going to give up in order to do that in the comments below!

Happy manifesting  this week and remember to Enjoy your Journey!

Emma-Jane 

Xx

How to find your personal power during depression?

Depression, as you will know if you suffer with it is one of the most draining experiences you can have in life. It is one of those times where when we most need to find our inner power and yet that power seems so far away, or it feels as though it doesn’t exist. The trouble is that we are the only ones that can connect to that source, find it and access it. How the heck are we supposed to do that when the world is caving in, when we can’t stop crying or worse when we feel nothing at all.

If you are there I really get it.

As someone with Bi Polar I have fought with depression my whole life. And recently after a long break (2 and a half years) it has come back with avengence. And at a really stupid point in time. Because actually everything is going well in my life. My business, my love life, even my garden is blooming and yet here I am constantly on the brink of tears and struggling to even make a cup of tea and write this article.  It sucks.

So how do I get through this? How is it despite feeling all of this you find me still here sitting and writing to you all?

I get through it by connecting with my power source and by not giving up.

Now when I say power source I don’t mean I plug into the battery and hey presto! I am super woman! Instantly feeling better. Nope. Finding your personal power and drive during a depression is nothing like that. Infact some of the things I need to do other people, people fortunate enough to not get like this would not see them as powerful actions. But for me they really are.

What I mean by power source is finding that bit of you that knows deep down under it all that this will pass. No matter how long it takes. It will pass. Your power source is there under all the emotions, the exhaustion, the hurt, the darkness. In the core of your very being there is a little voice that knows that this is temporary. The more we try to connect with this voice the stronger it becomes. And it is this voice, this power that will carry you through to the other side of your depression. It’s god damn hard. Believe me. But those of us that get depression. We are tough. Our emotions have power which is why they are sometimes so incapacitating. When you have power in one part of your personality, it is safe to assume that you have strengths in other parts of you. Even if you don’t really feel like it right now.

So in practical terms how can you access your power source?

Well this is what works for me

Check in with your body

Ask yourself:

When did I last eat?

When did I last sleep?

When did I last have a drink of water?

When did I last have a shower?

Depression will often stop you taking care of your body and that just makes it worse. So if you haven’t eaten all day eat. If you haven’t slept. Sleep. If you can’t sleep then do something which allows you to rest. Not staring at blank walls but laying on the sofa with a good book or some tv helps. (Even better lay on a blanket outside and get some vitamin D). Taking care of your body will recharge you. Just get yourself to do one thing. Start there.

Know what not to do

There are things that will make your depression worse. Drinking alcohol is one of them. Over working or lots of social arrangements are others. You want to feel better not worse. So don’t do, or at least do as little  as possible of the things that will make it worse.

Get Help

In the long term a doctor or medical practitioner might be necessary, but for right now tell someone how you are feeling. Someone who you know won’t just tell you to buck up.  And ASK THEM FOR HELP. Whether it’s help you to make food, tidy up, help with a work project, get the kids from school or just come over and give you a hug. I had a friend I called when the emotions were too much and i had to attend a family funeral. I just said ‘I need you to distract me from feelings’. She did. It helped me regain my strength to face all the people.

Do what gives you energy

This can be anything. Crying. In my case doing the washing or gardening. Hugging a pet. 5 mins of exercise. I had a friend who once told me if you can’t do anything, do the washing up. It might feel like a mountain, but when it’s done you will have achieved something and feel better for it. There are many ways to boost your energy in a positive and healthy way. Which is really important, by the way. Healthy boosts. Basically don’t do a lot of drugs, alcohol, coffee and impulse buying, it will just make you crash harder after it. Do go for a walk (you can ask someone to come with you to help you get out of the door), listen to you favourite music, have a shower and put on some clothes that you feel good in.

Cut down and delegate

I know there is a lot to be done. But right now you can’t do it all. Cut out what is not necessary, delegate, even if it is something as small as filling up a hot water bottle for your bad back ( MR T is doing that right now bless him). Basically right now you need help. You are not weak, you are indisposed and that’s ok.

Tire yourself out physically

Seriously you need to get physically exhausted. I don’t mean to breaking point. But getting physically tired is going to help you sleep better and that is going to help you feel so much better. You need rest right now. So get a good quality of rest by being physically not mentally tired.

Keeping Going

Some days it will be easier. Some days it will be harder. Some days will start hard and end good. Whatever happens. Find your Sishu, your resilience and keep moving forward. Personally I believe a person suffering with depression who gets out of bed, makes a cup of tea, makes food, gets into the shower, loves their kids, and manages to do maybe one of the things that needs to be done IS a Superhero. Take it one step at a time. Do something. Check in with how you feel. Ask yourself what do I need now? What can I do now? Then do that whether it’s crying, making dinner or resting. Put one foot in front of the other, don’t burn yourself out, slowly just keep going

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As I said I know it’s tough. But I do firmly believe that despite it all we will get through this. And I promise you we will be stronger for it. Only we can tap into our power source my friends. It’s a choice. Ask yourself – Do I want to feel better or not? And then take a step forward. And eventually you won’t need to think about the steps. You will agree with that voice inside of you and you will be guiding yourself out of the dark hole stronger than before.

Storms don’t last forever. They take the time they take

You will get through this, eventually

I believe in you <3

How do you access your inner power when you have depression ? Let me know in the comments below

How to kick fear away, embrace your power and be a badass! (4 min read)


As a child someone told me that I had everything I needed inside me to achieve whatever I wanted to achieve. That I had the power to be anything I wanted to be.  And I believed them. I dreamed. I dared. However, as life is as I grew older, because an insecure teenager and unsure young adult and made it to what I had always thought of the age of being a ‘proper grown up’, that belief had disappeared. Somewhere along life’s roads it had dwindled away a lot with my love of pink and Take That (a loss I have never mourned). Somewhere in all that living and growing I had forgotten that I have this power. That I was born with it.

I was re introduced to the idea again in my 30’s but instead of that rush of inspiration of belief in my own ability I had as a child, I didn’t feel powerful. I couldn’t believe. To be fair my self worth was at an all time low. Logically I knew it to be true. Every seed has the potential to grow, to blossom, to fulfill it’s potential. Yet I didn’t feel that I had that same ability. Something was holding me back. Where ever my power was, I certainly couldn’t access it.

Until one day I read these words of the inspiring Marianne Williamson

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. “

These words, for me were a eureka experience. They hit  the nail absolutely on the head.

I realised that it wasn’t that I am not powerful. I was simply too afraid to embrace my power

Wow!

It was an insanely intense revolation on a cold,  grey monday morning mid commute.

It was a revelation that  truly changed my life

A revelation about the power of fear.

Because when you get down to it fear is the great debilitator. It stops us doing so much. It takes over our minds and when we allow it, it screws up everything. The irony being that it is part of our survival system, designed to protect us back in the days when predators were really out to get us. However, it’s not like that today. In fact the only predator out to get us today is in actuality fear. Our own fears and other people’s. Consciously and unconsciously we are ruled by it. Which to be honest is really dumb.

We get this one life and we limit ourselves by being afraid. We don’t realise our potential because we are afraid of what that might mean. Where is the sense in that? Seems like a wasted opportunity to me.    

As I realised all of this I knew two things to be true.

I needed to embrace my power. And I needed to not be afraid of my own power

Now I would love to say that once I figured that out bibbidi bobbidi boo – I was magically empowered! I wasn’t. Not back then. And not entirely now. However, I am damn more connected to my power today than I have ever been before. And it feels great.

I shine, in a way I have never shined before.

Now Marianne Williamson didn’t just stop at pointing out our fear, she also suggested what we do when we embrace our power. She said

“ as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

And my friends it really is true.

When you can be comfortable with your power and embrace it, not only do you live a more authentic, responsible and freer powerful life, you inspire others to do the same.

Now you might be thinking well that’s lovely for you and Marianne Emma-Jane but how the heck did you do it?

How can I embrace my power?

Well, there is of course no one solution fits everyone. But  I did find a few tricks along the way and so here are 4 things you can do to begin your journey of stopping being afraid of your power and embracing it.

What is it that you are scared of?

Before you can start you need to know what it actually is that you are afraid of? What is it about shining and being the most powerful you that you fear? Identify your fears. Ask yourself if they are real? And ask yourself what you could do about it if they are? Knowing your fears gives you power over them. If you know what they are when they raise their ugly head you can in essence tell them to bugger off. It’s not real. It is just a fear. And being afrais is not a reason not to be powerful.

What does powerful me look like?

Ask yourself if I  embraced my power what would my life look like?  If I was not afraid of my own ability what would my life be like? By looking at this you are giving your brain a different option than being afraid of what could go wrong. You are reprogramming your brain to think about  what could go right.

How do I make that happen?

We often circle around the what could go wrongs rather than thinking about what we can do to make something happen. Think about how could you make it so that you are the powerful you? How can you create the life that you imagined by asking the last questions. What actions can you take?

There are many great ways to do this. If you look through my blog and search power you will find many tips and tricks to get you started. Alternatively sign up to Re:root your life’s Facebook page where for the whole of June we are dedicating to articles to help you be the most powerful you #bebadass !

Just do it!

My main life philosophy is “ Bravery is not the absence of fear. I t is having a fear and doing it anyway”. Fighting your fears is a challenging battle. It’s not going to be immediately easy. You will need to take a leap of faith and try. You will need to pick yourself up when you fall and try again. But believe me the rewards are worth it. The important thing is to commit. Commit to embracing your power. Commit to reaching your potential. And each time you leap, each time you dare, every time you tell your fears to shut up the easier it will be next time.

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Embracing your power, for me, is about having the freedom to enjoy your life, to grow and experience all possibilities and make the most of your short time on this earth. The greatest thing about doing this is that you get to inspire others to do the same, whilst enjoying your life.  Give yourself permission to break free from your fear and embrace your power and the world will be a better place, just because you were here to shine.

So be bad ass this June, embrace the power you have within you and allow yourself to shine!

Have a great week

Emma-Jane <3

Love yourself the way you would love your child – Self love in action


If you have been following my ramblings this may you will know that this month I have dedicated may as the month of self love in practice. My journey with self-love practice changes each year. Some years it is all about pampering, some years boosting my internal sense of self worth, some years have just been about giving myself time to do what I wanted to do. But this year has been about self love on a time deficit!  I have had one of the busiest Mays in many a year and more than ever I need to take care of myself. And it’s made me realise something really important about self-love practice.

Love is the foundation upon which all healthy lives are built upon.

I mean it should be obvious -right? We all know that love makes the world go around. It is love that is the foundation of all of our most important relationships with our partners, our children, our family and the gods (however you dom or don’t define them.) It is love that nurtures powerful growth, allows people to thrive and blossom.

So it makes sense that loving ourselves in the way we love, say our children is the foundation for us truly growing, blossoming and reaching our full potential.

And from this thought I have been cultivating a new approach to self-love.

What if we loved ourselves the way we love our children?

Now wouldn’t that be something!

Think about it. We love our children unconditionally, despite their flaws, the tantrums, the mistakes and the frustrations. Why not apply that same grace to ourselves? I found this idea has completely turned around my idea of self-love adn how to put it into action. All of a sudden the face masks and candles have gone out of the window (well back in the cupboard). And what has replaced this surface level self love practice is a deeper rooted, more nurturing form of self love than I have ever experienced before.

And it’s based on the roots of good parenting!

There are certain absolute truths that are the keys to being a good parent, and raising your child- despite the lack of a handbook. The ones I think we can all agree on are the following:

  • Loving unconditionally
  • Encouraging passions and personal growth
  • Setting boundaries
  • Nurturing the body with good food and rest
  • Fostering self-responsibility
  • Forgiving and accepting
  • Supporting the through the bad times
  • Celebrating their achievements
  • Telling them how proud we are of them.
  • Putting them first
  • Believing in them.

Now imagine trying to apply these truths to how you raise and take care yourself. Would you allow your child to binge watch netflixs until 3am? Or could you never forgive your child for making a mistake? Of course not. So why do we let ourselves do this things?

Mr T has a saying that can be applied perfectly to that kind of behaviour.- “Det dumb” (That’s stupid).

How about instead you ask yourself

Would I treat my child the way I am treating myself?

And if the answer is no, then change your behaviour. True love is not just all about the roses and the candles. It’s about doing what is right. Taking responsibility. Caring and supporting. And above all accepting someone is exactly as they are. And loving it.

Try loving yourself the way you love your child this week and see how your relationship with yourself changes

Let me know how it goes in the comments below

Have a wonderful  week

Love Emma xxxx

Love yourself as you would love someone else