#Lifelessons101 -Reluctance to change – how to bust through that big old block in 6 easy steps!

We all have those things we do that we would like to change. I know I do, the list is actually quite long. And if like me you have such a list it is so easy to get into a routine of self doubt, guilt and shame around the inability to make the positive healthy changes we know would benefit us and our life. In my life the biggest most glaring item on my list is my lack of exercise. I can seriously get into my stuff on this one. The guilt spiral runs deep and it has become a huge block of beating myself up (mentally) about my inability to commit to myself, my body etc etc etc. It has got so bad that when my wonderfully supportive man Mr T tries to suggest ways in which I could easily exercise he is more likely to get his head bitten off by my impression of the tasmanian devil than receive the (rightfully deserved) gratitude he should get for his support and care. In short it’s become an issue. A lifestyle habit I want to change and yet don’t seem to be able to make that shift. Until that is until this week.

I was doing so research into new coaching techniques and I stumbled upon a fantastic video by the energetic coach Jeannine Yoder on 4 questions that really investigate the blocks behind our reluctance to change in a powerful and insightful way. The technique is built upon the premise that any behaviour INCULDING negative behavior gives a form of positive benefit and value to our lives. It’s so logical. If we didn’t get something out of the behaviour we wouldn’t keep doing it. The NLP technique she described in her video is based upon 4 questions to help you analyse your behaviour from this perspective of positive value instead of negative judgement which makes the change so much easier to make because you come from a place of wholeheartedly accepting the change. I was blown away

I immediately implemented this technique into my coaching and my own development. Especially using it to look at the mental blocks I had to exercising more in my life. I tweaked and developed the technique a little (as every coach does).  And I now have this effective and brilliant formula for handling reluctance to change and smashing through the blocks to changing out negative behaviours which can be easily applied to anything you want to change. Already through my own experiences and my clients experiences in using this techniques during this week I have been amazed at how effective it is in manifesting new habits for change in a personally created bubble of motivation and I couldn’t wait to share it with you all.

So if you want to make a change in your life and are struggling to do so here are 6 easy steps you can manifest a new behaviour that serves you and your life

Step 1:  The positive things

Ask  “ What are the positive things that this behaviour is providing for you?

Dig deep and find out what it is you get from this behaviour. I was extremely shocked when I discovered a benefit for me  of not doing exercise was that it gave me the opportunity not to fail. I did not see that one before. This thought process really helped me get clear around why I liked not to exercise.

Step 2: All the benefits

Ask “ What else do you get out of this choice? What are all the benefits?

Dig even deeper and make a list of all the benefits this behaviour gives you. Keep writing them down until you can seriously not find more. My list was challenging to drag out. It took some big self admissions and yes it hit that pile of self doubt and shame. However rather than going there I kept going motivated in the knowledge I was being proactive to resolve the dramas and challenges I had.

Step 3: Keeping benefits

Now look at that list and ask yourself “ Which of these benefits do you want to keep?

Some of these benefits are things you really don’t want to let go of. For me with the exercise I knew that I needed to keep the benefits of affordability, giving myself time, the experience of not failing and the lack of pressure on myself. Circle these benefits in your list so you can really see what is most important to you.  These are the positive needs of your habit.

Step 4: Meeting positive needs

Now ask “ In what ways can you meet each identified positive need?

This is the behaviour changing part. You now look at each positive need and workout how to fulfill that need by positive behaviour. So I had to identify a form of exercise that I could easily put into my schedule, didn’t pressure me and that I would enjoy to give me a successful experience of exercise. Make a list of ideas of all the ways you can fulfill your positive needs in a healthy and beneficial way.

Step 5:  Embracing change

Identify “ Which behaviour can you wholeheartedly embrace?

Change doesn’t happen if you don’t really want it to. You have to feel in your heart of hearts that this is right for you. So from you list of ideas circle the ones that you really feel you can wholeheartedly set into action. Follow the feeling in your stomach, if something makes you feel reluctant then don’t choose it now, it maybe that you come back to it. I had written down thai chi as a potential exercise form that might work for me however it doesn’t feel right for me yet so I have chosen this. Going for walks however is definitely an option.

Step 5: Manifestation

Lastly ask “What positive actions do I need to take to create my new habits?

The last step is simply a list of the actions and agreements you make with yourself on how to move forward and manifest your new habits. So for me putting the dates in my diary of when I want to take a walk is a step for example. Make these steps achievable and realistic. If you want to start running don’t have as the first step  say sign up for a marathon. A realistic and achievable step would be plan a route and get some running shoes. 

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As I said before these is my own interpretation of Jeannie Yoder’s NLP technique found here on youtube. My clients and I love it. It brings an objective and fresh perspective and a judgemental free system to create new and beneficial habits that serve us in our lives. I hope you enjoy this process and after you have tried it let me know in the comments the new actions you are going to be taking to make your life a better experience!

Have a happy weekend <3

Old habits won't open new doors

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Human being  or human doing? A guide to intentional living (4 min read)

It is easy to get into a rut. We have all been there. It is even easier to get into a non engaged repetitive lifestyle, in short to be human being. A zombie if you like doing the same thing day in day out and not being particularly happy doing it. But what would it look like if you were living a life you loved? Wouldn’t it be great to wake up each day happy with you life, motivated and engaged. A human doing. Intentionally living and getting the most out of life.

This is not a pipe dream living this way, it is possible AND more importantly it is  thousands of people do this every day. Thousands of people live their lives intentionally. And so can you, if you want it. Intentional living is about learning how to make better decisions, so you’re happier and have fewer regrets.  It is choosing to live your life consciously and with purpose. Intentional living gives you the opportunity to step away from simply existing to designing your life. Empowering yourself to  choose and be who you want to be and do what you want to do.

Now do you want a piece of that? OF course you do. Everyone wants an intentional life. Not everyone creates it. Why? Well it’s because intentional living is the beyond the wishing on a star to make your dreams come true. (After all a star is a luminous sphere of plasma held together by its own gravity, how is that supposed to help you with anything.) Remember the wisdom of the late Terry Pratchett,

“If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you’ll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy.”

The point being is that if you want to change your life then it’s up to one person you. And you alone. People can support you, guide you but it’s you that has to do the leg work. It means changing habits and going through the place of discomfort to get to the place of bliss. Rome wasn’t built in a day and your life won’t change overnight. However if you put in the effort to live intentionally then one day all of sudden you will find that you are living a life that inspires you. A happy life.

So if you are still in, if you are ready to commit to yourself then follow this guide to intentional living and experience creating the life you want.

Life inventory

Before you know where you are going you need to know where you are. There are some basic areas that make up the founding roots of a person’s life. These are;

  1. Health – How you treat your body and your current state of health?
  2. Finances/ security – Your home, income and financial status ?
  3. Community – Your state of your relationships, family, friends, co workers ?
  4. Effectiveness (success) – How successful and effective you feel in your life?
  5. Relaxation  – What you do to relax and how often you do it ?
  6. Inspirations and dreams  – What inspires you, how often do you connect with it and are you striving for your dreams?

Take a life inventory. How does your life look in each of these areas right now?

Create the vision

So now you know where you are at you need to know where you want to go. There are many ways to do this. Brainstorming, create a vision board or making your bucket list are all effective and possible ways to focus yourself on your intentional life vision. Try making an overall plan for each area of your life, don’t be too specific just a loose description of that part of your life in its ideal state.

Create Goals

Goal setting focuses us and gives a point reference to know we are succeeding in the way we want to. Make sure your goal is measurable in units of time so if it’s  1 month or one year, it doesn’t matter, the time target makes us accountable for the goal.

Take conscious action every month, week and day

Check in with your goals every week and incorporate them into your daily planning. I use a 3 list system a monthly list which focuses on each goal. A weekly list which keeps me on task. And the daily list which keeps your goals in mind everyday.

Assess and reward your progress every week

Each week just before making your new weekly to do list assess  your progress with your monthly goals. Give yourself a reward for completing tasks each week. Celebrating success is an important part of intentional living.

Keep a work and life balanced

Living intentionally is also about living a balanced life. We need to be good to ourselves. So plan your rest and relaxation as much as your work and career. Keep you a foremost priority, After all without you nothing happens at all. Make the time to re energise

Cultivate a positive atmosphere and attitude to life

Taking charge of your attitude to life and the atmosphere surrounding you is an important part of intentional living. Cultivate positive habits to remind you to live intentionally for example mindfulness be it meditation or mindful eating, or making your bed in the morning. Call positive people into your life and keep a distance from the naysayers and their negative influences. One of the best ways of changing your atmosphere is to create around you an attitude of gratitude and celebrate your life.

Do a life inventory every 6 months

Life is constantly changing and evolving as indeed are you. Every six months do a life inventory and keep yourself aware you are at and where you are going.

Make memories

A great life in my opinion is rich in both experiences and memories. I love to experience new things, new places and honestly if I don’t life becomes boring. Make conscious time each month to make a memory, to have and experience and have fun- life should always be about enjoying the journey!

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Intentional living does take effort but the great part is that once you get past the uncomfortable this is a new habit I don’t like change part of your experience, intentional living becomes well, second nature. Keep yourself engaged in your life. It is a precious gift. You have everything you need to live your perfect life, you just have to want it enough to do something about it and become a human doing.

Enjoy your journey 🙂

 

Live

Making New Year’s resolutions that are easy to keep! – Making your plan (4 min read)

This is the third part of a series of guides to help you make New Year’s resolutions that you can keep throughout the whole year. Don’t worry if you haven’t been following up until now. New Year’s resolutions can be made throughout the new year. Personally I prefer to do it as the land turns from Winter to Spring so that my journey follows nature’s cycle around me. However if you want to follow this guide you need to go and have a look at the part one (Get inspired) and part two (Creating the vision) of this series, otherwise what you are about to read simply won’t make sense.

To those of you who have been following the steps you are hopefully raring to start working on your dreams and goals for this year and after this last week you will have a crystal clear vision of the changes you wish to make.

Holding the vision is important and will make your dreams easier to manifest. However a vision is not enough. If you don’t know what you need to work on and how to do that then you vision remains a dream, a nice picture in your mind and an unfulfilled goal.  So what next? How can you make your vision become a reality. The answer is really, really simple. Make a plan.

You may have heard the 5 P’s Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance. Now I do in part agree with this, on the other hand I find it a stressful and demanding. In my book proper planning gets stuff done.

But what do I mean by planning? There are many ways to do this. The simplest I have found is to take each goal and define the steps you have to take to create this. This week you have two steps to follow.  Give yourself good time to think this through and record your ideas. This is the foundation, the roots of the work you will be fullfill this year. Make strong roots adn you will have a strong plant. If you make a strong plan you will have better results.

Make a plan

Now say for example your goal this year is to travel a country for three months. In this case you have some very clear decisions to make and steps to follow.

Choose which country you want to go to

  1. Research the ways you wish to travel, hotels, youth hostels, work away and what you want to see.
  2. Research the cost of your trip.
  3. Save money.
  4. Book time off work.
  5. Book your holiday
  6. Go.

In this case it’s very simple. You can even set target dates on each of the steps. But what if your goal is not a clear to create for example to improve your self confidence.  In this case you need to do a lot of background thinking to achieve this goal. Also you have to be realistic. Can you do this in one year? Or will you have to spread this over a few years? In which case what do you want to achieve in this year? With goals such as this you can still make a plan in the same way as for travel. You just need to think it through more. One of my life coaching clients made this plan for improving one part of her self confidence over one year, by focusing on self love.

  1. Identify what it is I don’t like about myself.
  2. Talk about this with my life coach.
  3. Find a strategy for each issue with my life coach.
  4. Begin one strategy each month.
  5. Write a gratitude list every morning or evening.
  6. Use a self love affirmation every morning in the mirror while I brush my hair.

One year one my client is more confident and happier within herself. Together we have identified and implemented 3 strategies in her life to improve her relationship with herself. Her self confidence isn’t completely in place, however it is beginning to be less of a hinderance in her daily life and her life quality is improving.

The steps to take are easy when making your plan.

  • Choose one goal.
  • Clearly define it.
  • Write a list of the steps you need to take in order to achieve your goal.
  • Set a start date.
  • Set a completion date
  • Do the same with all of your goals.

Evaluate and adapt your goals:

Making a plan is also a great way to evaluate your goals and dreams for this year. Are they realistic. When you break it down into bite size chunks and there are too many steps or impossible tasks then you need to redefine your goals.

 

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Enjoy this process. Make it simple. Make your plans realistic. And remember to make it fun. The whole point for me in life is about enjoying the journey. Life does not have to always be hard work. Keep this in focus as you are planning. After all the resolutions you make and want to keep should be improving your own life quality other wise there is not much point in making them!
Have a fantastic and motivating week. Next week is the last part of this series so tune in again on monday to begin making the changes you dream of in your life and to begin living the life you have dreamt of.

a dream without a plan.jpg

#LifeLesson101 – Ways to find your self respect and be true to yourself (3 min read)

 

Happy Friday y’all 😀

This week during my miracle morning it was time to choose a new book.( I always love this part it’s exciting to think of the new teachings to come.) So I closed my eyes and let my hand fall naturally on a new book. To my disappointment it landed on the Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Macmillan. Don’t get me wrong , it’s a great book with many insights and teachings, it just wasn’t what I was hoping for. So although reluctant, I decided that the universe knows best and read it anyway.

I am so glad I did. One teaching became so apparently clear that I couldn’t ignore it.

Do you respect yourself?

And if you don’t how can you expect others to respect you?

(Although really that’s is not seriously important, your opinion of you matters the most)

This question rolled around my mind, a lot. Do I truly respect myself? I like myself, in fact, I’d go as far to say I love myself. But respect, well I had never given it proper consideration.  And then that poses the question if I don’t respect myself then how can I love myself?  And that  led to what is self respect?

What is self respect? There are so many answers to this question. Self respect is extremely personal. For me it means walking my talk and living my truth. If I put my beliefs into practise then I am truly able to respect myself.

Time to get back to the drawing board and figure out a way to create my self respect……….

Below is the process  of four steps I have been through during this week  to recover my self respect. And already I feel so much better. Already by making myself more aware of the things I need to do to respect myself, the  more I feel my belief in myself rising and my vibration changing. Now my self respect is growing and due to that I love myself even more. When you love and respect yourself life is a beautiful experience from the vibration you send out.

Decide what self respect means to you.

This is a personal definition. No answer to that question is wrong or right. Decide what is right for you.

What do I respect myself for?

One of the best processes ever. Make a list of things that you respect yourself for. Start every sentence with I respect myself for ……………………… Once you start it’s hard to stop. There is so much you have to respect yourself for so take a moment to celebrate that.

What don’t I respect myself for?

Using your definition of self respect make a new list. The what I don’t respect myself for list. Be truthful. Start every sentence with I don’t respect myself for ……………………… You will know if you are not being honest and with this honesty counts. Don’t get into your stuff about these things or allow a negative self judging spiral to start. You are doing something about these challenges now. They are in the past and it is the now you can change.

From not respecting you to respecting you

Look at the don’t respect list. For each of the points write what you can do to change this around and respect yourself for. For example I want to help the planet recover from the abuse it has suffered and yet I was eating Macdonald. (I know, don’t say it I know) So the solution was simply to choose not to eat there. Basically from positive to negative.

Do it and be kind to you

You have a plan so follow it. You know now after this process what you need to do, so do it. And be kind to you. It’s ok if you don’t manage to make the changes all at once. Allow yourself to notice if you fall off the bandwagon. Notice let it go and then do you best to hold to your resolutions and create the new habits you are forming.

 

Take a journey of discovery this week and improve your self respect, it will I promise lead to some fantastic and rich insights that will make you more conscious of your life and much, much happier every day.  After all if you are being true to yourself then the rest is just icing on the cake….mmmm cake!

Happy Friday 🙂

true-to-your-self

5 simple ways to start communicating positively. (4 min read)

 

Positive communication. That phrase gets thrown around a lot these days. Does it really make a difference in our lives? Well in my opinion yes, it really does. Words are one of the most powerful things man has ever created. Words are powerful wether words of love or war, of learning or abuse. Words (in my not very humble opinion) create at least 90% of the man made world and a 100% of our society. If you are awares of the law of vibration or the butterfly effect and relate that to words, then it is easy to see how words of negativity or positivity make a great a difference on our planet.

Internally positive communication also makes a big difference. We all know if we are negative with ourselves, our self esteem lowers. Life seems harder and more difficult to enjoy. However with positive thoughts the world is beautiful and so are we.  Some consider constant positivity as fake. Well in a way it partly is. After all life is not sunshine, rainbows and peachy all of the time. (Thank goodness or we wouldn’t have opportunities to grow). The old fake it till you make principle does have to be applied to shift behaviour. However it is not fake to want to see and experience the best in life and change your language to reflect that. The bottom line is positive communication makes life more pleasant ,whether that is at work, at home or inside our heads.

Here are 5 simple  things you can do to start using positive communication today.

Accept that your brain is stupid

Seriously it is. All of us have a dumb brain. even Mr Stephan Hawkins and the like. How on earth is that a positive thing? Well because the brain is so dumb it believes whatever you tell it. Physocological research has discovered that if you tell your brain something 5 times you belive it. The familiar = truth. Easy to understand = truth. So short and sweet affirmations e.g  I love you, thank you for my life, and today is going to be a great day. Tell yourself NO loudly whenever your mind is trying to be negative make more of impact than prolonged debate in your head.

Take the power back

We all do it. We all can let our thoughts rule us. And why? We are the choreographers of our life. Who made that negative voice in your head the expert? No-one. So the next time it tries to tell you that you are not good enough to get that promotion, remember his voice has never been a CEO. And after that reverse the negative thought to a positive thought and take back the power inside of you!

Listen

I mean it. Really listen. 45% of our communication is actually listening. In HAvamal an ancient Viking text offering advice for life it says (something like) the wisest of men are the most silent and do not waste words. So make mental summaries of the conversation as you listen. Take an interest in the subject in discussion, make sure that the other person has finished talking before you answer or comment, as well  give a well thought out answer. Even if you have to ask the other person to wait a moment while you give time to that answer. Remember it is actually okay to be silent too, sometimes other people just need to talk.

Be conscious of the language you use

Choose your words carefully. So often we speak negatively without noticing. Be conscious in how you use your language. For example instead of joining two sentences with a ‘but’, join them with an ‘and’ or ‘however’. But is a word our minds associate with an excuse, the other two words with taking responsibility, action and possibility. Another one I like to use is the word challenge instead of issue or problem. I use this so much I find that I sometimes flinch when others say these words. Making a problem into a challenge creates the mental image of something one can solve and overcome.  And instead of saying you will try, say you will do your best, after all no-one can expect more from you.

Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups.

You know the situation. Sitting at the dinner table talking to your partner. Their response is blithe or even sometimes harsh. Internally we feel hurt. We assume that it was their intention to hurt us. We come from a place of upset as we talk, the conversation digresses and an argument ensues. The poor confused partner has no idea what is happening and of course responds to the “unwarranted attack”. A recipe for a horrid evening. Assumption is seriously the mother of all fuck ups. Well instead of assuming ask. Say out loud the inner dialogue. Ask “Did you mean to say that in a hurtful way?” If your partner is anything like Mr T the response is usually something like “Oh no sorry. I was thinking about fish/ minecraft/a new bb gun” !

This works at home or at work. Take charge of the emotional response and allow yourself to ask if the situation really is how you read it.

And to help you remember it all ……….

Every day I read Gandhi’s statement about positivity. (Actually I can’t help but read it, it hangs opposite my toilet!)

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

Everyday Gandhi reminds me to be concious in my thoughts, words  and deeds because they truely are the most powerful things I can offer to the world.

Positive communication takes dedication and concious practice at the beginning. Once you begin to use it daily,it does become easier and automatic. After all the brain (not you)  is stupid and it will believe whatever you choose to tell it. You just have to decide if you want to tell it something positive or something negative !

silence.jpg

#lifelessons101 – We have all we need inside to create a beautiful life for ourselves and make the world a better place. (With Bruce Almighty, seriously!)

 (This friday includes Life lessons from five people- some of whom you wouldn’t expect to be teachers!)

nothing-changes-unless-you-change

It’s been a busy week. My first full week back at uni college since, well since the dark ages. My head is full of analysing danish literature, newspapers and trying to keep up with the written work in a foreign language. In reality I am exhausted.  (So please excuse the rambling nature of this post – stick to the end I promise it will be worth it!)

Now with all of this I have still been looking forward to the beautiful time of autumn equinox, when the sun and moon, day and night balance. This is the time when the seasons turn and we step into the full beauty of autumn. I can see it around me. The leaves are green and brown. The land golden and green. Around me the world is in the midst of change.

Change. A scary but essential and absolute fact of life. Everything changes. Constantly. A long time I used to think that change was awful. It made me feel unsafe. However that was in the time before I began to understand that I am actually the choreographer of my life. For me this understanding has come in stages in fact a new teaching/reminder came just last night from where? The universe? (Well yes, but not exactly.) It came from Bruce Almighty!

Bruce reminded me of the point of understanding I have reached to make change my friend.  I  now understand and accept that I have everything I need to make any change I need or want in my life. In fact I have the power to do anything I want to do. I am the co creator of my life, Me and the universe dancing together.

When I started to think about how I learnt this it surprised me and I think it will surprise you to see who the main five people are that have made me so happily aware of my own power!

 

Lesson number 1: Michael Jackson. Flash back to the 80s and there am I sitting in my room with my, oh so cool white stereo, playing a new album (On cassette, we dinosaurs did not have cds or mp3s or spotify!) by Michael Jackson. Blaring out across my the room was “ The man in the mirror” again and again. If you have never heard this song then go listen. The only bit I can  ever remember is the chorus,

I’m Starting With The Man In

The Mirror

I’m Asking Him To Change

His Ways

And No Message Could Have

Been Any Clearer

If You Wanna Make The World

A Better Place

Take A Look At Yourself, And

Then Make A Change

 

Even today it still gives me goose bumps. Now whatever your opinion is of Jacko, in these words he is unquestionably right. A certainty of life is that you have the power to completely change only one thing in this world. And that’s you. And from  the ripples of that change, the world around us changes.

Lesson number 2 : Ghandi. How could it not be, right? The immortal words “Be the change you want to see”. By changing us we reflect out into the world.  Showing it the way we want it to be. At first I took this mantra in relation to environmental protesting. E.g. How could I protest about human abuse of the Earth if I didn’t recycle. I still believe this to be true and do my best to live in a truthful and authentic way. But as the years have gone on I have understood the message much more internally. If I want the world to be a more beautiful place then it’s me that has to change my reaction to whatever life sends me.

Lesson 3: Buddah. Of course he was going to be in here. My A-level English teacher taught me one thing that has stayed with me for the rest of my life. (Well he taught me two things but don’t get me started on why Australian people should not analyse Chaucer and compare him with Freud. We will be here all day.) He taught me the story of how Buddha chose not to accept the gift of negativity. One day I will post up the story and link this article to it. But for now the message is that Buddha could have chosen to be angry or to not be affected by another person and he chose the latter.

Lesson 4: Jim Carey. I know Jim is not the first person that pops into mind when you say inspirational people changing my life (neither is Michael Jackson . I digress. You hopefully get my point). But Jim is inspirational for me. HAve you ever heard Jim speak about the law of attraction? If not do, university youtube means you can see this all night. At one event  Jim asks “ Are you aware that all of this is happening inside of you?” His speech was about intention and how through our attention we are the creators of our own experiences and our own lives. If we consciously react to a situation it is us that makes it good or bad. For example by missing the bus and having to walk to a destination to be on time is taken as a bad thing ,then believe me it’s going to be a bad walk. But if you choose to be grateful for the experience, notice the scenery and even discover a new route, then that journey will be fun and enlightening. It’s up to you how you create it.

And the ultimate, ultimate lesson which lead me to the best peace of mind I have ever known and wish I could share with the whole world, every single day. The last piece of the jigsaw which makes all change and life so very much easier. Well that I found out through a long, long journey but last night I got reminded of it again. As promised….

Lesson 5: Bruce Almighty. God and Bruce are talking in two different scenes. In the first  God is asked how he can permit all the suffering in the world God, the amazing Morgan Freeman; replies ”I don’t permit the suffering. You do. Free will. All the choices are yours.” It really is that simple. We have the choice. But the other scene? Now that really hammered it home to me . Again God and Bruce are talking I can’t remember or find the exact quote but it goes something like this. Bruce asks God what if he needs help? And God points out the problem with people is that they are always looking up for help when the solution lies within us. We have the power within us to solve any problem, create any change, survive any change, enjoy our lives, hate our lives and achieve anything we can dream.

 

Now , I know its tough. Butwhen you realise the amazing tool kit  you have inside of you. Understandings passed down the generations in your DNA. The achievements you have made and the disappointments you have survived. The teachings life has given you, even when the lesson comes from the most bizarre of sources. You will see that you have everything, no  you have so more than everything you need within you to make a wonderful life for yourself . And at the same time  you can also make the world a more beautiful place. 

(And next time you forget it turn to Jacko to remind you !! Have a fantastic weekend!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PivWY9wn5ps

 

The Mustard Seed- inspiration when you need it the most.

Have you ever seen a Mustard seed?

They are tiny.

If dropped only the keenest of eyes could find them, if seriously lucky.

 

mustard-seed-in-a-hand

 

However even with the tiniest of seeds, Mustard grows into tall and strong plant, with many, many branches. Now the Mustard seed can be an inspiration to us all. Especially in those times when nothing seems to be going right, when life feels stagnant and bleak. When things seem unsurmountable the mustard seed shows us in a real and tangible way that if we start small we can achieve. After all if a Mustard seed can grow from something so small, push through the earth to the sun, fighting through the seemingly impossible challenges, then so can we.

The mustard seed can also inspire us as proof that from the smallest of things something great can grow and multiply. From the most tiny spark of inspiration it is possible to multiply and grow onward and upward. Everything around us in the human world (not the natural) started with a small idea and grew and grew. Walt Disney, (who is one of my inspirations. I know not everyone’s favourite cup of tea but he is definitely mine) had two nervous breakdowns and multiple business failures before he came upon his Mickey Mouse the catalyst for the Disney Empire today. So from the smallest mouse a giant corporation grew and even then it took a few attempts to start it.

steamboat_willie

 

 There are many tips, tricks, ideas and advice out there to help you overcome blocks and be inspired to grow. However today I am not going to tell you about those. Instead I am going to ask you to do something for me and for you. The very next time you think something is impossible, that life is stagnating, or you cannot find the belief that you can do what it is you want to do; find a story. A story that reminds you that from the smallest of beginnings you can grow. Look for tangible inspiration that resonates with you and allow the story to guide you on. So that you too can grow and become as tall and strong as a mustard plant or as well known and loved as a small mouse.

 

Good luck with your dreams, you can and will make them a reality remember …..

from-small-beginings

 

 

P.s.

Btw I can’t take credit for the lesson of the Mustard Seed (or Mickey Mouse!). The mustard seed is a parable told by Jesus to his followers. And no I am not  trying to push any religious dogma upon you. I believe that a great teaching can come from anywhere and can be respected and inspiring no matter what you believe about the world or the universe.

 

 

#lifelessons101- Life loves me, and it loves you too.

I have been thinking long and hard about what to write to you this friday. So much has happened in this last week. So many life lessons have been popping up. I have been learning about the gifts of apology, how to balance my life and my work.  I also started college again – believe me at 38, in a foreign country and in a foreign language this is a real challenge. However none of these lessons are complete enough for me to feel comfortable writing about them to you. (They’ll be here at some point so keep your eyes peeled).

And then this morning a burst of inspiration came. Still glowing from the beautiful morning serenade Mr T gave me as I caught the bus, (seriously how can I not love this guy) I opened the current book I am reading, “Life loves you” by Robert Holden and Louise Hay. And I realised this is what I want to share with you today. Life loves you.

Now saying that life loves me (and you) is easy to say and hard to believe. However as I have been sitting the last few weeks,  in my beautiful new home, writing my daily gratitude list, it has been impossible to not notice the abundance and love in my life. I am truly happy and truly blessed. I feel at peace with myself.

It has been a long journey. Only two and a half years ago, I was sitting on my bed, scrolling through my telephone book, knowing I needed help and not knowing who to ask. At that point I wanted to end my life and look at me now. The transition has been painful, beautiful and a gift.

And it is a continuous and constant process. This book reitterates for me all that I have learnt. Just reading the title inspired me. “Life loves me” Well yes, yes it does. How could it not. ”Life loves you”. How could it not.  We are part of life, part of the universe and although it’s not always easy to love yourself, I doubt very much the universe created us just to hate us. It’s illogical. This journey of loving myself is a wonderful gift. Certain daily practices have helped so much and it’s these I want to share with you today.

4 Steps to guide you to love you

Pictures of you

Now you might have seen the recent trend on Facebook . You have to  post five pictures of you that you most love. I am happy to say I did this long before Facebook (although I am glad it’s finally starting to be out there for everyone). I found 5 physical photos of me that I love. Photos that reminded me of happy times, times that I was truly shining and being my authentic self. I wrote the reasons why I love me at these times. Then looking at the photos I chose three of them that represented times where I am most proud of me and wrote this on the photos as well. Now those pictures hang in my room reminding me every day why I love me.

The greatest part about this journey is that you will actually find more than 5 photos you love and more than 3 things you are proud of. In fat if you come from a place where you don’t love and appreciate you, this experience gives you so many reminders of how beautiful and strong you really are.

Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude

I know I bang on about this all the time but gratitude is really the best way to appreciate your life, the people in  your life and the world around you. Gratitude also brings you into the now.

Often (as Lousie Hay points out in Life Loves you) we expect to be abundant and loved in the future. But the future becomes today and you are abundant and loveable right now. By being grateful for what you have you see the proof of how valued you are within the universe. How much it loves you and how much you love your life. When you love your life it is not a challenge to love yourself.

Daily affirmations

I love how our bodies work. If we tell ourselves something often enough we believe it. Affirmations are a fantabulous way of doing this. Around my home are many beautiful quotes and pictures reminding me and Mr T how wonderful we are. My favourite is on my bathroom door, (actually my bathroom has the most affirmations on the wall than any other room in our house!) It simply states. If anyone has not told you today, you are magical, beautiful and you can’t achieve anything you want to achieve.

One of the most effective ways of using affirmations is mirror work. Louise (or is it Robert? Hmm can’t remember ergo not important), suggests that you stand in front of your mirror everyday and tell yourself “I love you”. At first this  seems a real challenge. However once it becomes part of your daily ritual the easier it comes to you and the more believable it is. On our mirror is a little homemade sign which reads “I love you” every day when I see it I find myself  blowing  kisses to myself. It sounds foolish, well it is and I like it!

Ten points

On of the teachings in the book is the ten points. This is built up around the affirmation

“Life loves me and I am blessed”

Around your house put ten reminder marks. They can be stickers, something you will see. Every time you see one say the affirmation aloud. It inspires and brings an inner glow every time. Sometimes these days when I see it I say the affirmation and my inner child shouts out “I KNOW” and it’s true. I really do know that Life loves me and I am truly blessed.

So make your window a magical love affair with yourself because once you begin to realise how beautiful, how loveable you are, the world is an even more beautiful place.
Have a wonderful weekend <3

 

lifelovesyou

 

Change is just another word for adventure

changes gives you the oppertunity to grow

Change happens around us every day. We all go through life changes puberty, marriage, old age. In natural world the process of the seasons transitioning is much quicker than the natural changes is in our lives. Conscious change(when we know it is happening), can be one of the scariest processes of all. Conscious change can often be unexpected and a sharp jolt in the journey in our lives such as a death, a relationship breakup or even losing our jobs. Or it can be planned a wedding, a pregnancy or moving home. No matter how conscious change comes whether seen as positive or negative, our natural reaction comes with fear and anxiety and often stress.

In 6 days I am making one of the biggest changes in my life. I am moving away for the life I have created for myself over six years in Copenhagen and moving to Jutland to begin living with my boyfriend of two years, the wonderful Mr T. Now although this is a happy moment in my life and one I have dreamed of for, well two years; I am shocked at the amount of fear and anxiety I am feeling. As always I want to understand and work with these feelings to grow from them. So over to my favorite resource google and in my research I have found it is actually a perfectly normal reaction to life changes, no matter how pleasant they may be. (Yey! I am normal not an emotional overreacting wreck losing sight of perspective and sanity!)

Biologically when we face change our bodies get into fight or flight mode. Chemicals and hormones and adrenaline start to race around the body and we stand in the middle like a rabbit in the headlights. The body can’t actually differentiate between physical threat and the stress of change. Great, and I thought I was just concerned about being packed on time and having enough space on the trailer.

Fortunately there are ways of coping with change in a positive way. Here are …….tips I have found to help me and you cope with changes in ours lives.

Acceptance

It’s ok to feel afraid, anxious or stressed don’t beat yourself up about it. Remind yourself this is a natural reaction to the change in your life.

Identify your fears and feelings

Write a list of your fears and feelings. When you identify what your challenges are you will be able to see where you can resolve some of these things and where you have to accept them. I have used part of the serenity prayer to help me with this process.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

Courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Find the opportunities to grow

Every change creates new opportunity to grow. Sometimes it is hard to see but the loss of a family member can bring a family closer, the loss of a job the oppertunity to find something better for you. Think back over the major changes in your life. How did these changes give you opportunity to do something positive in your life? Again make a list of all the opportunities this change will create for you. Remember this big change is just a phase of transition and you will find a rhythm in your life again.

Make a plan

Of course this is not always applicable . If it is applicable make a plan of how you will respond to this change. For me I found this list was actually much bigger than I expected and really helped me feel positive about the coming change.

Use your support network

It is ok to ask for help, to talk through your fears with your family and friends or even if you feel comfortable within a help forum. If you are moving there are so many ways to keep contact with loved ones email, phone, Facebook or even the old fashioned letter. If you need help it is a good idea to try and identify how you need help. For example I have asked Mr T to be especially romantic and loving this week to remind me how lovely it will be together forever.

Do what makes you feel happy

If exercise is your thing then do that, drawing do that. It’s good to relax although when fears are getting the better of us it’s good to relax in a busy way. Don’t forget to watch your favorite films and at this time yes it’s its ok to eat some of your favorite comfort foods too!

Reaffirm to you that this is a positive experience

Affirmations are a fantastic way of tricking the brain into a new thinking pattern Every time your brain tries to go into your fears tell it NO. Then fill your brain with a positive affirmation. You can use the following or create your own, and keep it simple

“I can do this”

“Everything will be alright”

“All is well in my life”  

“I am willing to change and grow”

If you find it challenging to say an affirmation I find it helps to pick my favorite to print out and put up at home or use it as a screensaver.

Remember that the nervousness won’t go completely away, however I found that by using these steps it does help the nauseous feeling in your stomach turn into butterflies and now I am feeling excited about the coming change in my life . After all change is just another word for adventure…….