When I was a kid self-love was not something you heard about. Growing up in the 80’s in a middle-ish class British family, it was expected that you would be academically astute, career focused and productive in every aspect of your life. The pressure was on and that was considered a good thing. No-one talked about taking breaks or taking care of yourself. It was all about what you did in work and play. A strong contrast to today where even a 2nd grader can give you an informed explanation of self-love! There is so much of hype about self-love. Today it is not only the social norm, healthy self-love is known to be one of the keys to confidence and contentment in life. We automatically know that self-love is important.
However how often do you stop and think why is self-love important to you? I mean it’s all well and good the specialists, the coaches and psychologists and the non-specialists on the internet telling you self-love is important. If you never decide that self-love is something important for you, you will never take the conscious step to loving you. And in my world that is a sad state of affairs.
For me working with self-love affects 3 areas in my life. It strengthens my self-esteem, my self-power and my sense of security. The more empowered and loved I feel in these three areas the more content I feel in life. Now maybe that will be the same for you maybe not. However today I have one goal. And that is to help you find out why working with self-love is important to you here and now in your life.
So here for you is a little exercise to inspire you to get clear on why self-love is important in your life and which of the three areas you need to work on right now. It takes only a few minutes and it will be the catalyst for making your journey in life more wonderful, powerful and content. (Not bad for a few minutes thinking right?!)
Ask yourself the following questions (and write down your answers)
Self-esteem
- Do I feel loved in my life? YES/NO
- Do I feel confident? YES/NO
- Do I feel devastated if I fail? YES/NO
- Do others opinions of me matter more than my own? YES/NO
- Do I feel I deserve love? YES/NO
- Am I able to laugh at my own mistakes? YES/NO
- Do I like myself? YES/NO
- Do I think positively about myself most of the time? YES/NO
- Do I believe there is nothing about me that is loveable? YES/NO
- Do I change myself to make others like me? YES/NO
Answers:
- Yes= 1 No= 2
- Yes= 1 No= 2
- Yes=2 No=1
- Yes=2 No=1
- Yes=2 No=1
- Yes= 1 No= 2
- Yes= 1 No= 2
- Yes= 1 No= 2
- Yes=2 No=1
- Yes=2 No=1
If you have a low score you have high self-esteem. If you have a high score you have a low self-esteem
Self-love strengthens self-esteem by increasing your self-worth and your self-confidence. By working with self-love in this area you will learn to love yourself exactly as you are, seeing the value in you. You begin to dampen the internal negative judges and ultimately come to a place of acceptance and valuing yourself. In a life with high self-esteem, you are free to enjoy the experiences in life without wasting your energy on talking yourself down.
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Self-power
- Do I need praise and positive feedback to feel great about myself? YES/NO
- Do I feel I am worth good things in life? YES/NO
- Do I feel successful? YES/NO
- Can I do things as well as other people? YES/NO
- Do I feel I can overcome a crisis? YES/NO
- Am I very critical of myself and my abilities? YES/NO
- Do I make decisions based on other people’s opinions? YES/NO
- Am I easily discouraged? YES/NO
- Do I believe I can reach my goals? YES/NO
- Do I feel like a strong person? YES/NO
Answers:
- Yes=2 No=1
- Yes= 1 No= 2
- Yes= 1 No= 2
- Yes= 1 No= 2
- Yes= 1 No= 2
- Yes= 2 No=1
- Yes= 2 No=1
- Yes= 2 No=1
- Yes= 1 No= 2
- Yes= 1 No= 2
If you have a low score you have high self -power
If you have a high score you have a low self -power
Self -love strengthens self-power by empowering you. It creates resilience to handle challenges, belief in yourself to reach your goals and gives you strength and determination to continuously move forward in your life. Self-love work in relation to your self-power gives you an energy boost and a strength of spirit.
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Security
- Am I able to set clear personal boundaries? YES/NO
- Do I feel nervous when meeting strangers? YES/NO
- Do I find it easy to confront people? YES/NO
- Do I get nervous and unconfident when people criticise me? YES/NO
- Am I able to express my opinion easily? YES/NO
- Do my fears and inferiority stop me from doing what I want to do? YES/NO
- Do I feel I will succeed no matter what? YES/NO
- Do I need other people to make me feel safe? YES/NO
- Do I accept myself as I am? YES/NO
- Do I like to be alone? YES/NO
Answers:
- Yes= 1 No= 2
- Yes= 2 No=1
- Yes= 1 No= 2
- Yes= 2 No=1
- Yes= 1 No= 2
- Yes= 2 No=1
- Yes= 1 No= 2
- Yes= 2 No=1
- Yes= 1 No= 2
- Yes= 2 No=1
If you have a low score you have high sense of security in your life.
If you have a high score you have a low sense of security in your life
Self love strengthens your security by simply making you less insecure within yourself and of your abilities. You become self sufficient. When you can make yourself feel safe you do not need to rely on anyone else because you know you are always there for you. Self-love focusing on creating security gives you a powerful foundation to take on the world and feel contentment with your life.
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So now you have an idea of why self-love is important in your life and hopefully which areas you want to focus upon. In the last month Re:Root has been focusing on the art of self love. Check out the links below to some of our most recent articles to find out how you can give yourself a much needed self-love boost today
HAve a beautiful week <3
#lifelesson101 – 9 steps to recreating your body image by honouring your body with self-love
#lifelessons101 – 5 incredibly powerful self love habits
An easy ABC guide to making self-love a daily practise
The 7 steps to Self love – the key to building a relationship with yourself.
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